2020s Jehovah's Witnesses DIVORCE Court Cases

A recently divorced Tipster sends other husbands married to JW Wives some sage advice, while acknowledging that few other husbands probably are as passive, unobservant, trusting, and stupid as he:

1. If you take your late-30s, childless, semi-frigid JW Wife on her first 14-day tour of the Hawaiian islands in hopes of jump-starting her battery, and she spends the entire time in paradise dodging every single romantic advance, after you get home, you should check to see if JW Wife had been unable to see her GYN before leaving on vacation.

2. While attempting but failing to check #1, and finally being forced to order copies of your past claims record from your 15 year-long employer-provided health insurance carrier, if you are unable to find one single insurance claim submitted by ANY health care provider on behalf of your JW Wife, then you might want to figure out where JW Wife has been getting her healthcare for those past 15 years, and unless it has been a local "free clinic", how have the bills been paid?

3. If your JW Wife can provide no reasonable explanation for why, in 15 years of your paying for top-notch health insurance, she has never submitted a single claim, and JW Wife refuses to tell you where/how she has been receiving healthcare, and further refuses to obtain and provide copies of her latest medical records -- for any reasonable time period -- then, you need to hire an attorney, and get tested for HIV.

MARCIE HOCH v. MICHAEL R. HOCH is an ongoing 2023-26 California divorce and child custody case. Outcome pending. Selected excepts from Court of Appeals of California, February 17, 2026:

Marcie Hoch, [age 45,] and Michael Hoch [age 49,] were married in September 1999. In February 2023, Marcie [Hoch] filed a petition for legal separation, which she later amended to allege marital dissolution. Both Marcie [Hoch] and Michael [Hoch] are practicing members of the Jehovah's Witnesses faith ...

Michael [Hoch] and Marcie [Hoch] were wed on September 26, 1999. They have three children by their marriage: Luke [Hoch] (born in September 2006), Sienna [Hoch] (born in October 2008), and Annajolie [Hoch] (born in August 2016). Michael and Marcie are practicing members of the Jehovah's Witness faith.

[Realtors] Michael, Marcie, and their children lived at the family home in Yorba Linda (the Yorba Linda residence) until September 2022, when Marcie and the children moved out and took residence in rental properties. Michael and Marcie also owned a rental home in Laguna Beach (the Laguna Beach residence).

On February 7, 2023, Michael filed a petition for custody and support of the children (Michael's custody petition). He also brought an ex parte request for order granting him sole legal and physical custody of the children, supervised visitation for Marcie, child abduction prevention orders, and orders regarding the control of property. The family court denied ex parte relief and set the matter for a hearing in March 2023.

On February 9, 2023, Marcie filed a request for a temporary DVRO against Michael. Marcie also requested (1) an emergency Child Custody Investigation, (2) the disabling of a tracking device that Michael had placed on her vehicle, (3) restoration of Marcie's access to personal and business accounts that Michael had closed, blocked or placed in his name, and (4) access to the family residence so Marcie could retrieve the children's and her personal belongings. The family court denied Marcie's request for a temporary DVRO and set the matter for a hearing on the same date as the hearing on Michael's custody petition.

On June 8, 2023, Michael filed an ex parte request for a DVRO to protect himself from Marcie and requested exclusive use of the Yorba Linda residence and the Laguna Beach residence. On the same date, the family court issued a temporary restraining order requiring Marcie to stay at least 100 yards away from Michael, his home, workplace, and vehicle, except to exchange the children. The court awarded Michael exclusive use of the Yorba Linda residence and left for future determination the issue of the use of the Laguna Beach residence.

On February 14, 2023, Marcie filed a petition for legal separation based on irreconcilable differences. She sought joint legal custody and sole physical custody of the children with visitation to Michael.

On May 2, 2023, Michael filed a response to Marcie's petition for legal separation. He denied there were irreconcilable differences and stated: "Respondent does not consent to a judgment decreeing the legal separation of the parties pursuant to Family Code section 2345 and requests dismissal of the Petition for Legal Separation of Marriage. Respondent conscientiously objects and cannot consent to a legal separation due to his Bible-based religious beliefs as one of Jehovah's Witnesses."

On May 25, 2023, Michael filed a motion to dismiss Marcie's petition for legal separation on the ground legal separation could only be granted upon the consent of both parties, and he would not consent to legal separation. He again asserted he could not consent to legal separation "due to my Bible-based religious beliefs as one of Jehovah's Witnesses."

As a consequence of Michael's refusal to stipulate, Marcie informed the court during the trial on the requests for DVRO that she intended to bring a motion for leave to amend her petition for legal separation. Marcie intended to convert the petition into a petition for dissolution of marriage. Michael's counsel told the court that Michael's religious beliefs would not permit him to agree to allow Marcie to so amend her petition. Counsel asserted: "[Michael] understands that he has no legal basis to object to it. He just doesn't want to be the vehicle that drives it forward." The court agreed to hear Marcie's motion for leave to amend and Michael's motion to dismiss Marcie's petition for legal separation at the same time.

Several days later, Marcie filed a motion for leave to amend her petition for legal separation by converting it into a petition for dissolution of marriage. Marcie also requested an order imposing monetary sanctions against Michael pursuant to section 271.

In opposing Michael's motion to dismiss her petition for legal separation, Marcie stated that filing that petition "was a difficult and painful decision," but by filing his motion to dismiss, Michael forced her into making "an onerous decision" between staying in an "abusive relationship in which Michael controls her" or seeking a marital dissolution "before she is spiritually and/or emotionally ready to do so." In opposing Marcie's motion for leave to amend, Michael asserted he had "the lawful right to conscientiously object to signing" the stipulation to allow Marcie leave to convert her petition for legal separation into a petition for dissolution. That right, he argued, was "safeguarded by the United States Constitution" and "[t]herefore, any attempt to impose sanctions or penalties upon me for my conscientious decision to refrain from signing a document would constitute an infringement upon my Constitutional rights."

On September 15, 2023, following a hearing, the family court denied Michael's motion to dismiss Marcie's petition for legal separation and granted Marcie's motion for leave to amend. The court also granted Marcie's request for monetary sanctions under section 271. The court commented that leave to amend to convert a petition for separation into a petition for divorce "is pretty straightforward and pretty liberally granted." The court found that Michael "was not cooperative," "[i]t was unreasonable for [Michael] to refuse to sign [Marcie]'s stipulation to convert the action to dissolution of marriage," and "[Michael's conduct was unreasonable as there were multiple opportunities to keep these issues out of court." The court imposed $15,000 as "attorney's fees" and $20,000 as "sanctions" against Michael for a total of $35,000.

Marcie retained an expert, Quincy Bahler, to conduct an investigation into whether Marcie's electronic devices and online accounts had been accessed without her consent. Bahler reviewed data from Marcie's Snapchat, iCloud, and Google accounts for the period of time from May 1, 2022 through September 12, 2022.

Bahler discovered 23 logins to Marcie's Snapchat account had been made since May 1, 2022 from an 11-inch iPad Pro, a device which Michael used regularly. Bahler also discovered a data download from Marcie's Snapchat account had been made on August 5, 2022 and the downloaded data had been delivered to mntsurf@yahoo.com, which is an e-mail address used by Michael. As a consequence, Michael would have had access to any messages and photographs from Marcie's Snapchat account from at least 12 months before August 5, 2022.

After Marcie moved out of the Yorba Linda residence, she drove a Mercedes-Benz vehicle which had a Mercedes Me application attached to it. The Mercedes Me application, once enabled, would allow the holder of the application to locate the whereabouts of the Mercedes-Benz. Michael activated the Mercedes Me application once Marcie moved out of the Yorba Linda residence. Michael used the application, which was on his cellular phone, possibly more than 20 times to locate the Mercedes-Benz.

When Michael testified in August 2023, he had not deactivated the Mercedes Me application.

From September 22, 2022 until September 20, 2023, Marcie asked Michael 15 or 20 times not to come uninvited to her home. During that time period, Michael appeared at Marcie's home uninvited 20 to 30 times. On at least one occasion he refused to leave after Marcie had asked him to do so.

As Jehovah's Witnesses, Michael and Marcie followed the concept of "headship" in marriage. Headship is an arrangement by which God is the ultimate head, Jesus, is subject to God, a husband is subject to Jesus, and a wife is subject to her husband. The husband's role is to be the head of the family and to make the final decisions on the family's behalf.

Both Michael and Marcie believed the other was not correctly practicing the concept of headship. In February 2022, Marcie sent Michael a text message stating he had "a view of women and headship that is not in line with what Jehovah intended" and he did not trust her to make decisions or plans with her friends. Michael responded, "You have an obvious problem with the headship arrangement. So does the world. So does Satan."

Michael tracked the books Marcie was reading and expressed his disapproval of them. In August 2022, Michael sent Marcie the text message "Garbage you've been filling your mind with!" in response to seeing an iBook on Marcie's iPad library about domestic abuse. Marcie responded by telling him he should "calm down and communicate instead of sneaking around like a stalker." Michael sent Marcie a screenshot of books from Marcie's iPad library with the message, "you sure do like reading about sex; yet, you won't have it with your own husband."

Michael told Marcie that the books she was reading were "disgusting," and "he would be telling the elders on [her]." Michael appeared to be particularly offended by an audiobook about domestic abuse.

On August 6, 2022 (the day after Michael downloaded data from Marcie's Snapchat account), Michael sent Marcie a text message asking her: "Why did you change your Snapchat password. You're the one reading the garbage." Marcie responded by asking Michael, "Why did you hack my account like a creepy stalker?" Michael answered, "It's my new job to know everything that's going on under this roof . . . [I]t's time for you to start coming clean." Later that day, Michael sent Marcie a text message stating: "I[']m in shock you have no problem with these books. I have been talking to brothers."

In September and October 2022, and January 2023, Michael left handwritten letters at Marcie's residence to the children. In these letters, Michael expressed remorse for his "controlling" and "hurtful" behavior, the "dominating way" he controlled the family, and his lack of consideration for Marcie's input into decision making. ...

KEEYANNA NATALIE PARSON v. AUSTON KADE PARSON was a 2023-25 Texas "mixed race" divorce and child custody court case in which the trial and appellate courts both ruled in favor of the Caucasian non-JW father despite there being multiple negatives against him.

"Keeyanna argues that the trial court's decision allowing Auston to determine the primary residence of the child was an abuse of discretion because its 'decision does not hold up to scrutiny' under the best-interest factors described above. Auston responds by noting that the evidence, when viewed under the proper standard of review, provides sufficient evidence for the trial court to have exercised its discretion as it did.

"The record shows that Auston has the financial means and family support to care for J.P. He has stable employment and housing. Auston presented testimony that he is a capable and caring father to J.P. Both Auston and Keeyanna have engaged in the use of illegal drugs, and they have also sold narcotics. However, both tested negative for drug use throughout the pendency of the case. While there was evidence that Auston consumed alcohol excessively in the past, he has been sober throughout the litigation and has attended Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. There was conflicting evidence regarding the cleanliness of Auston's home, which we presume the trial court resolved in favor of its ruling. ... We also defer to the trial court's credibility determinations regarding Keeyanna and Auston, who had conflicting testimony as to their relative parenting abilities, including Keeyana's allegations regarding racial animus among Auston's family and Auston's past use of pornography. ...

"As to Keeyanna, the trial court heard evidence that she is not able to transport J.P. because she does not own a vehicle or have a driver's license. Keeyanna exhibited self-harming behavior such as suicide attempts and self-mutilation. Based on the foregoing, we conclude the evidence supporting the trial court's ruling rises to a level that would enable reasonable and fair-minded people to arrive at the decision under review. ...

"The parties also presented conflicting evidence regarding their varying faults in the marriage's dissolution and their ability to coparent. However, in considering and weighing all the evidence, we cannot conclude that the evidence supporting the trial court's decision is so weak or against the overwhelming weight of the evidence such that it is clearly wrong and manifestly unjust. ... Accordingly, we hold that the trial court had sufficient information upon which to exercise its discretion and that it did not act arbitrarily or unreasonably in the application of that discretion. ... Specifically, we note that the evidence is sufficient to support the trial court's best interest determination under the Holley factors, and the factors listed in Section 153.134(a)(2), (3), and (4) of the Texas Family Code. ...

"In her second issue, Keeyanna argues that the trial court improperly considered the religious faith of Keeyanna and her family in reaching its conservatorship decision. In support, Keeyanna cites to case law declaring that it is 'beyond the power of a court, in awarding the custody of a child or children to prefer the religious views or teachings of either parent, even though the beliefs and practices of one parent might be more "normal" or more in accord with majority religious views or practices.' Matter of Marriage of Knighton ...

"As an initial matter, we note that Keeyanna did not object to any testimony regarding her family's religious views or practices, as she concedes. Therefore, she has not preserved for our review any issue regarding the admission of testimony or evidence regarding her or her family's religious views or practices. ... Nevertheless, there is no indication in the record that the trial court relied on the religious views or practices of either party or their respective families in reaching its decision. Importantly, the trial court issued a finding of fact specifically stating that it 'did not take into account or consider in any manner the race or religion' of Auston, Keeyanna, their respective family members, or the child in making its conservatorship determination. We have already held that the trial court's decision to designate Auston as the conservator with the right to designate J.P.'s primary residence was informed by sufficient evidence and was not an abuse of discretion. Here, there is no indication that the trial court reached its decision on an improper basis. ... "

A local attorney who allegedly forged the signatures of an assistant district attorney and a judge was doing so to get an ankle bracelet removed from one of his clients, ... Paul Jason "Jake" York was arrested July 7 on one count of filing a false document and two counts of first-degree forgery after a probe by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation seemed to confirm what court officials discovered in March -- that York signed a bond reduction for Valerie Lyn Ryals, 31, of Cornelia on behalf of ADA Meredith Davis and Judge Chan Caudell. The allegedly forged document, which was provided Friday evening by the Habersham County Clerk of Court, showed an order dated March 4 to remove the ankle bracelet that was monitoring Ryals, who was arrested in January on charges of simple battery and aggravated stalking.

On Dec. 30, 2019, [Valerie] Ryals' ex-husband filed a report with Clarkesville Police that Ryals was following him after he left Shoney's restaurant. He claimed that she blocked him in at the red light at Washington and Louise Streets, "exited her vehicle and walked back to his vehicle and began hitting him in he face through the window of his truck,"the incident report reads. She was arrested on a charge of simple battery, and a charge of aggravated stalking was later added Jan. 5 when her ex-husband claimed she followed him to a location on Highway 197 a day earlier and texted him "stating that she sees him," ... .

Ryals' bail order filed on Jan. 13 read that she was released on the conditions that she not consume alcohol or other illegal substances, not possess any firearms, have no contact with her ex-husband and to wear an electronic home monitoring device, for which she would be responsible for the maintenance costs monthly.

The document to modify the bond was allegedly signed on March 4 and filed March 9. Davis saw the document and raised concerns about its validity, prompting a hearing March 10. The summary order of the hearing says York admitted he signed the order without permission from Davis.

Caudell indicated in the hearing that he always dates each order along with his signature, something that was not done here. The summary also reads that York claimed to present the order in court March 2, but security tapes do not show York in court either of those days. "Well, I would just be frank with you. That doesn't look like my signature, but, I mean, you know, I couldn't swear that it's not, but it doesn't look like my signature," Caudell told York at the outset of the hearing, according to court transcripts. ... York indicated that Ryals was paying $380 every two weeks for the monitoring for something she did not do, which was a hardship for her particularly as a single mother.

York claimed that he stepped into Caudell's courtroom during civil motions on March 2 to get his signature on the bond modification quickly, with the promise that it would not be filed until he could talk with Davis at a later date. He said it was a "matter of when it's going to be dismissed," rather than if it would be. York thought he had a verbal agreement with Davis to remove the monitor, and with Davis briefly on leave, York said he went ahead and signed her name to the document. "I just thought, well, when she gets back and when she gives me the green light the I have it ready. ... I'll go file it and be done, you know."

Davis said she did not receive the proper phone records until March 2, at which time she said she told York that she would have to review those records with the victim in the case. On March 6, two days after the alleged document was already signed by both Davis and Caudell, York emailed Davis asking to have the matter resolved. The attached document for her review was blank with no signatures on it.

In another twist, [York's] email included a desperate plea to get Ryals' monitor removed under intense pressure from Jehovah's Witnesses. "If I don't at least try and get the ankle monitor removed from Ms. Ryals, I am almost certain an entire Jehovah's Witness church congregation will be out to lynch me. Truly, I have had the preacher, several people that referred to themselves as elders, and others associated with the church come by my office over the last week ready to rip me apart about this matter."

Later that day while in court, Davis received another message from the monitoring company saying they had removed the ankle bracelet from Ryals. She asked for the order to be sent to her. "I did not agree to this. I had no idea this was being done," Davis said. "I hadn't even read Mr. York's email because we had been in court all day." In addition, the monitor had been removed before even the "fake" document had been filed with the court, which did not happen until the next Monday, March 9.

"We do believe it's fraudulent, and it is troublesome," District Attorney George Christian said. "It's at least a Bar issue and at most, a cause for referral to the GBI for investigation." ... THE NORTHEAST GEORGIAN, Matthew Osborne, July 14, 2020, edited.

Also see: UNITED STATES v. RYALS (Georgia, 1944), GEORGIA v. VALERIE LYN RYALS (2020), GEORGIA v. VALERIE LYNN RYALS (2020).

CROWN v. HCQ was a 2023-24 Supreme Court of Queensland MARITAL ANAL RAPE conviction prosecuted by a Jehovah's Witness Divorcee against her perverted JW former Husband. JWDivorcee, age mid-20s, married JWPervert, age 20, in 1995, and children were born in the mid to late 1990s. Younger JWPervert "was always curious about anal sex," but older, mature JWWife "shut down any discussions of this "straight away", stating, "no, flat-out no, absolutely not. It's against our beliefs."

Around "November 1997, I was raped and sodomised by [JWPervert]. This was the first time that he had abused me in a sexual way. I screamed and said, 'no', but that was futile. The evening after the abuse, [JWPervert] came into the bathroom and apologised for what he had done to me. He also wanted to see if his actions had caused me any physical damage. I told him to get out of the bathroom, and said that I did not want him near me. It was three or four weeks later when he next raped and sodomised me. [Thereafter,] I was raped and sodomised two to three times a week for a period of six years."

Around 2003, the mother of a "young girl" informed JWWife that JWPervert was having an affair with her daughter. This family likely also were Jehovah's Witnesses. Specifics unknown, but BOE was quickly involved. JWPervert refused to cooperate with BOE, and likely was disfellowshipped. JWWife attempted reconciliation, but couple soon divorced. YoungGirl married JWPervert, and they went on to have four children. In 2020, during that second divorce and child custody dispute, JWDivorcee provided evidence about the years she suffered hundreds of ANAL RAPES at the hands of JWPervert.

In March 2023, in a separate criminal prosecution, JWPervert was convicted by a jury for only one of three counts of alleged ANAL RAPE in 1997. Affirmed in 2024.

SONYA SPRAGUE v. THOMAS SPRAGUE JR. is a series of ongoing separation/divorce Vermont legal actions. Sonya Sprague and Thomas Sprague are married and have three minor children. In May 2023, Sonya Sprague filed a complaint for legal separation and a complaint for relief from abuse alleging that Thomas Sprague had sexually assaulted her. The family division held a final hearing in June 2023. The court found that in April 2023, Sonya Sprague was taking a shower when Thomas Sprague digitally penetrated her anus. The court found that this constituted abuse. It found that there was a danger of further abuse. It issued a one-year abuse-prevention order prohibiting defendant from abusing plaintiff or contacting her for any reason other than to discuss parent-child contact and finances. On appeal, the Supreme Court of Vermont affirmed in January 2024. The court specifically noted that Thomas Sprague complained that it had been improper for the trial court to inquire of the plaintiff, after she had testified that she had told the elders in her Jehovah's Witness congregation about defendant's behavior, "tell me a little bit about the process within your community about going to see your elders."

PAMELA HOPPER v. DANNY HOPPER was a 2021-23 Arkansas DIVORCE case. Danny Hopper was married to Pamela Hopper (now Pamela Han) from 2015 until they divorced in 2022. During the marriage, Danny Hopper and Pamela Hopper were members of the Van Buren Arkansas Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses. In 2021, Pamela Hopper first consulted three Elders at the Van Buren Kingdom Hall regarding her marital problems. Danny Hopper suspected that Elder Jason Webb was having an affair with Pamela Hopper and was advising her to divorce Hopper so Jason Webb could acquire some of Hopper's property. Jason Webb later testified that he, his wife, Nicole Webb, and their two children had moved from Florida to Crawford County, Arkansas, in the summer of 2019, and that he had become an Elder at the Van Buren Kingdom Hall a few months after that.

ARKANSAS v. DANNY HOPPER (2022-25). Over the course of a year during 2021-22, Danny Hopper sent countless emails, texts, and voicemails to Elders Jason Webb, R.J. Mann, and Dwayne Kelch expressing his various suspicions and his disdain for Jason Webb. However, on February 10, 2022, Danny Hopper sent Jason Webb a voicemail which was forwarded to law enforcement and ended as Danny Hopper never imagined:

Hi Jason, this is Danny again. I was just thinking, I was -- you know nobody would even listen to anything I had to say about Pamela's behavior at home. She's got a narcissistic personality disorder -- every one of the traits that those folks have, she has it, and I was willing to put up with her, you know. It just needed to be known that she's a pathological liar and twists everything to make herself the victim. But y'all -- you wouldn't want to hear that because your goal was to get my property. So, anything -- I mean, she's a mentally ill woman, Jason, and you're taking -- you've got control of her. You're taking advantage, in Jehovah's name, of a mentally ill person to try to get the property for yourself, for a discount. Even if you were to succeed, you would not be able to enjoy it for very long because I'd put you six foot under the ground. Now, go get me disfellowshipped or whatever, but it's not going to stop me. So, if you do succeed, you will not survive. You understand? It ain't worth it, boy. You've messed with the wrong man and the wrong man's wife. So go ahead and get me disfellowshipped or whatever, knock yourself out. That's what you wanted, so go for it. You're still not gonna get my property, and if you do, you're not going to enjoy it, Jack.

That's crazy for a man, an elder, to use a man's wife, a mentally ill wife to take advantage of her and to try to take the man's property and think you would survive it. That's ludicrous. I mean, how do you expect a person to react to something like that? Oh, I'm sorry, here take my property. Excuse me for being here. Hope you have a nice day.

No, that's what I would like to do. I wouldn't hurt a little fat cell of your membrane there. That's what I would like to do.

It's crazy that -- it's crazy -- it's beyond moral sense that a man representing Jehovah would come up with such a scheme. How many people have people in your organization done that to? How many couples? It must be an ongoing deal because you're not smart enough to come up with it on your own. It's gotta be an organizational thing that the elders do to manipulate people. There's something -- you're very seriously disturbed in the head to take advantage of a man's wife like that, that's got a mental illness so you can try to [get] a place to live so you can be close to your buddy. I mean, that's just -- that's just plumb crazy. I would not let you survive that.

In 2023, based on the above voicemail, Danny Hopper was convicted in a jury trial of first-degree terroristic threatening and was sentenced as a habitual offender to eleven years in prison and fined $10,000.00. All three Elders admitted during cross-examination that Danny Hopper had never attempted any violence toward any of them. Typically, Pamela Hopper thereafter remarried a JW named "Han" soon after her divorce. The following case summary is the November 1, 2023, decision by the Court of Appeals of Arkansas to affirm the final order by the Crawford County Circuit Court extending a ten year order of protection against Danny Hopper until May 2032. Excerpts (edited):

[Pamela Hopper] sought an ex parte order of protection on May 2, 2022. In her petition, she stated that throughout the parties' first five years of marriage, [Danny Hopper] had thrown objects at her head, had choked her on two occasions, had pulled her around by her hair and face, and had slammed her hand in the door. [Pamela Hopper] indicated that she was afraid of [Danny Hopper] because he was very unstable and was making threats and showing up at her residence and her friend's residence. She alleged [Danny Hopper] had showed up at the friend's residence "in disguise" to inquire about appellee. [Pamela Hopper] also stated that [Danny Hopper] called the lady she lives with and provides care for to persuade the lady to fire appellee. [Pamela Hopper] stated that she is in immediate and present danger of domestic abuse because [Danny Hopper] is desperate to stop their divorce and is becoming angrier in the many daily emails he sends appellee. [Pamela Hopper] alleged that appellant told her that she is "going to end up like the dead kitten in [their bathtub]." According to [Pamela Hopper], appellant has sent her over one thousand emails since kicking her out of the marital home. In the accompanying affidavit, [Pamela Hopper] stated that appellant is "insisting [that she] stop the divorce and come home before it's too late, and that [Pamela Hopper] will end up like the dead kitten that was floating in [the parties'] bathtub." [Pamela Hopper] alleged that appellant's behavior is bizarre and that he is "[v]ery unstable and capable of doing harm." [Pamela Hopper] indicated that [Danny Hopper] came to her residence twice on April 28 and then went to her friend's residence in disguise.

The Crawford County Circuit Court entered an ex parte order of protection on May 2, effective until May 25, the date a hearing was set. ... The hearing took place as scheduled. [Pamela Hopper] testified that she and [Danny Hopper] were now divorced as of the prior week. [Pamela Hopper] stated that [Danny Hopper] had continuously harassed her since kicking her out of the house on October 14, 2021, including his attempt to have her fired and kicked out of her current residence. [Pamela Hopper] testified that [Danny Hopper] has been physically abusive to her in the past, including choking her on two separate occasions. She said that [Danny Hopper] is volatile and unstable and that she wants the protection order so that she does not have to deal with him again.

[Pamela Hopper] testified that [Danny Hopper] is no stranger to protection orders because both his ex-wife and an attorney had to take protection orders out against appellant for stalking. She said that [Danny Hopper] served four years in prison, partly due to the stalking. [Pamela Hopper] introduced messages from appellant that she described as "a veiled threat or something derogatory or something to that effect." She said that appellant has sent her a couple of dozen emails since the temporary order of protection was entered, with the last one being sent on May 22.

On cross-examination by appellant, [Pamela Hopper] testified that she is a live-in caregiver for an eighty-three-year-old woman and that [Danny Hopper] came to that residence twice on April 28. She stated that on the same day, [Danny Hopper] wore a disguise and went to a mutual friend's home. [Pamela Hopper] stated that when [Danny Hopper] first assaulted her, he took "a handful of change and threw it at the side of [her] head." [Pamela Hopper] said that appellant shut her hand in the bedroom door when she was trying to keep him from shutting her in the room. She stated that [Danny Hopper] choked her twice within the second or third year of their marriage. She said that they were married in 2015. [Pamela Hopper] stated that there was an incident after the choking incidents where appellant pulled her by the back of her hair and jerked her around because she told appellant that maybe he should "get with" a lady in their congregation that he commented had a "nice rack."

[Pamela Hopper] stated that she watched the Ring doorbell video that showed appellant at her friend's house in disguise asking questions pertaining to appellee. She said that her employer told her about the conversation the lady had with appellant in which [Danny Hopper] told the lady that "if she joined [Pamela Hopper] in [her] rebellion that God would take his blessing away from her." Appellee was shown an email sent by appellant to her employer, and appellee stated that she did not see anything specifically in the email about appellant attempting to get her fired but that he alluded to it. Appellee stated that she took appellant's reference to the dead kitten in several emails to be "a veiled threat."

[Danny Hopper] testified next. He stated that he went to appellant's residence on the date in question to see if her employer had gotten the message he had sent to her. He stated that [Pamela Hopper] suffers from narcissistic personality disorder in which only 40 percent of what appellee says is true and that he had studied the disorder for two years. He stated that he went to appellee's residence because he wanted her employer to know what appellee does. [Danny Hopper] went on to explain that they are Jehovah's Witnesses, and he did not understand the grounds [Pamela Hopper] relied on for separation. He denied kicking [Pamela Hopper] out of the home. The circuit court informed appellant that what it really wanted to know was whether appellee is in danger of domestic abuse from appellant. Appellant stated that appellee was not in danger of abuse. He said that he went to the parties' mutual friend's house in disguise because no one would answer the door for him, and he had two questions he wanted answered. He denied going there to stop the pending divorce. Appellant testified that he was in the process of putting in an RV park, and he did not want [Pamela Hopper] to "up [her] demand for money to sign the divorce." However, he stated that he was contacting people to let them know that what appellee was saying about him was not true.

[Danny Hopper] told the circuit court that [Pamela Hopper] sent him a text quoting a scripture condemning him and that he texted appellee back. He admitted that he sent appellee messages after the protective order had been entered because "she was [his] wife," and he wanted to warn her "that a person who is deceitful and -- and divorce their marriage -- their mate with deceitful grounds will not inherit God's kingdom. That means they will be just like the dead kitten, they won't get resurrection."

EMELDAH CHAMA v. JOSEPH MALUMBO SIMBEYE was a 2021 California divorce and child custody case which has been referenced in multiple airings of a segment of the JUDGE JUDY television program, in which the husband's babysitter sued remarried Emeldah Dickerson, Registered Nurse, over an assault which allegedly had occurred during a child custody exchange. Judge Judy awarded $1 damages each to the plaintiff babysitter and the allegedly recently converted African-American Jehovah's Witness RN defendant.

NOLT v. NOLT (2020-21) was an "outcome unknown" TYPICAL WATCHTOWER CULT PROSELYTIZING case, which can be found on nearly every one of our divorce webpages. In their late 50s, with their children grown and living on their own, Ivan S. Nolt Jr. and Jane Nolt were Old Order Mennonites living in a rural Old Order Mennonite community, including many Old Order Mennonite relatives, just outside Mifflinburg, Pennsylvania. Proselytizing JWs began visiting the home-alone Mennonite wife, and slowly but surely, a convert was made. Much can be made of the fact that such a mild-mannered 58 year-old Mennonite husband could have been driven to get his .22 "varmint" rifle and fire six shots into the unoccupied "field service van" parked in front of his home, in April 2020, which belonged to the Jehovah's Witness couple who were breaking up the Nolt marriage.

The JWs fled once the shooting ceased and reported the incident to Mifflinburg Police, who contacted PA state police. Nolt told responding PSP he had grown frustrated when he learned the Jehovah's Witness family would visit yet again. Nolt had telephoned friends for advice, but no one answered. Nolt said he remembered firing only three shots, and that he had hoped to scare away the JWs, and keep them away from his wife. Nolt explained that immediately after the shooting that he had regretted his actions and admitted that he was in the wrong.

Trooper Brian Watkins filed charges of criminal mischief, a felony, and three misdemeanor counts each of terroristic threats, simple assault, and recklessly endangering another person. Nolt posted $5,000 cash bail and was released. In April 2021, an understanding local prosecutor agreed to a plea deal in which Nolt pleaded guilty to only the terroristic threats misdemeanor, and was sentenced to two years probation.

SALTERN v. MINK is an ongoing 2019-23 Australia CHILD CUSTODY case (until JWFather succeeds at one of his suicide attempts), which we include here because the Non-JW Wife's Aussie Attorney made exceptional efforts to discovered and present as evidence the rather typical, usual, and normal things about the JW-reared Father that few if any recent American Attorneys have taken the time and effort to discover and expose about members of the WatchTower Cult whom they are opposing. This court case summary should be copied and given as required reading to every media reporter encountered by XJW activists.

Mid-20s Saltern and Mink began dating in Brisbane in 2016 after meeting on Tinder. In 2017, the couple began cohabitating, and a son "X" was born in 2018. The couple separated for the final time in March 2019, and this custody battle ensued. Here are some pertinent edited excerpts from the court's "Findings" in the June 2020 decision:

... I accept the mother's evidence that she was physically assaulted by the father on Christmas Day 2018. ... I also accept the mother's evidence that the father physically assaulted her on 2 February 2019. The bruising that resulted from this assault was seen by the maternal grandmother a day or two later. ... I accept the evidence of the mother when she said that the father hit her in places that did not show the bruises. I accept that there were bruises that she received from the father's physical assaults and that she was able to hide those bruises with her clothing. I accept that the father hit the mother on her thighs and around her head and that she would have bruises on her back and sides from where the father would grab her and shove her. ...

... The fact of the matter is that the mother was asked by the father to go away with X while he tried to "sort himself out". The father was not doing as well as was thought and so the mother returned. On 1 February 2019, the mother attended Dr G with the father. There was an agreement between the parties that, after discussion with Dr G, the mother should return to Town B with X whilst the father continued his task of getting better.

This chronology shows that the mother was invested in the relationship and that she wanted the father to be the best father he could be to X. As it turned out, the father was nowhere near as invested in the relationship as the mother. But the mother cared for the father and wanted him to be well again.

... The mother ended the relationship by phone on 4 February 2019. The mother still spoke with the father and it was the father's actions during the last of their phone calls that caused the mother to raise the alarm regarding the well-being of the father. On the evidence before me, the mother's actions probably saved the father's life after the suicide attempt ... The mother still cares for the father, notwithstanding that she no longer wishes to be in an intimate relationship with him. The mother also recognised the importance that the father has in X's life. ... ...

... The family violence inflicted upon the mother was more than just physical. The mother claimed that the father had spied on her by accessing her social media accounts. The father told Dr G that he was "very tech savvy and had pulled messages from Ms Mink's (the mother's) phone that led him to believe she was having an affair". The father also wrote, in the child support application, that he had a private detective befriend the mother and report back to him on her activities. ... These actions illustrate the controlling nature of the father. ...

... I have concluded that the father was responsible for the damage to the property of the mother following her "escape" on the night of 30 March 2019. I have concluded that the father was responsible for the "keepsakes" of the mother going missing. I have also concluded that the father was responsible for interfering with the mechanism of the car of the mother to prevent her from ever reclaiming it.

--- (The mother started packing her car and noticed that the car seat had been removed. The police had to retrieve the seat from the father. When the mother tried to start her car it would not turnover. The mother opened the bonnet and the police officer noticed that the battery terminal and fuse were missing. The police went and spoke to the father and the father eventually returned the battery terminal and fuse to the mother. The police officer was able to fix the car temporarily so that the car would start and that the mother could drive it away.) ---

... The father has an amazing ability to lie and to twist facts to favour himself. To try and extricate himself from the consequences of his actions, the father invented such absurd scenarios such as the mother hacking his child support application, the mother faking a photograph that displays bruising to her chest, a break-in at his house and a confrontation with an unknown Islander male.

He has claimed to everyone that the mother was the reason that he committed suicide but neglected to tell anyone of the role that (new girlfriend) was playing in his life at that time. He has said that the mother wanted to take his name off X's birth certificate, when the truth of the matter was that this was something that he, himself, asked the mother to do....

... The picture that the father has attempted to paint is one in which he is totally blameless, and where he suffers at the hands of a cruel and vindictive mother. And yet, when the true situation is exposed, particularly by reference to the notes of Dr G, the problems that the father was facing, were problems of his own making. (Centuries-old WatchTower Cult SOP) ...

... I accept the evidence of the mother that, in March 2019, the father flexed his financial muscle and demanded that she not use the facilities that he had paid for. This meant that she kept her food in an Esky. I also accept that the father, wanting to ensure that the mother could not make any financial claim against him, transferred whatever assets he had into a trust. (See Charles Taze Russell Financial Biography) ...

... ... The mother was honest and forthright. She made appropriate concessions in cross examination. Her attitude and personality that was displayed in the witness box, was mirrored in the material before the Court; that is, the objective material corroborated her version of her actions and motivations.

The mother could be described as "what you see is what you get" in that there is no guile or deception in what it is that she says or does. I am of the view that her actions are totally consistent with her claims that she was a victim of family violence. And yet, despite what the mother has endured, she has still attempted to facilitate a relationship between X and the father because she recognises that it is important for X to know his father.

The father is very much in contrast to the mother. He has not accepted any culpability for any action that he has taken. He claimed that it was the mother's fault that he did not have a bond with X. He claimed that it was the mother's fault that he made an attempted suicide.

When confronted with an incontrovertible circumstance, the father makes excuses and tries to obfuscate the facts in such a way that he is blameless. If one were to look at the father, in a superficial manner, he would come across as a caring parent who was doing nothing more than attempting to have a better relationship with his infant son. It is only when one digs deeper and truly analyses the actions and behaviour of the father, that one can see the controlling behaviour.

The father has used a physical violence on the mother. The threat that he made that he would "hunt her down" is not a throwaway line, but a true statement of intent. He has stalked her in the past and has the capacity to do so in the future. He has destroyed her property. He has been financially coercive of her and he has been emotionally coercive of her. ... ...

... ... In this case, the mother submits that there have already been two issues of disagreement between herself and the father already. The first has been over the issue of religion and the second has been over the issue of health.

The mother has claimed that the father is a Jehovah's Witness. The father did not deny this claim, but instead remained silent. The mother claimed that the father did not observe Easter or Christmas. The mother had gone with the father to (his) Kingdom Hall as part of the father observing his religion. The mother says that she does not want this to be part of X's life until he is old enough to make his own choice.

The father has submitted that there have been no arguments about religion and that any issue that arises regarding religion, in the future, will be able to be resolved.

The mother has claimed that the father was unwilling for X to be vaccinated. She said that the paternal grandmother was vehement in her opposition to X's vaccination. The mother claims that the opposition to vaccination, and other medical procedures, stems from the religious practices of the family of the father.

The father has submitted that, in the end, he did not stand in the way of X being vaccinated. He claims that this illustrates that he and the mother can come to decisions on these issues. ... ...

... I do not see the need to make any orders regarding special days. I accept that the father does not celebrate Christmas or Easter, because of his adherence to the doctrines of Jehovah's Witness. If the father wished to spend part of X's birthday or Father's Day with X, that is something that can be negotiated with the mother in substitution for the visit that the father would have with X in that particular month. ...

TYRELL v. TYRELL (pseudonym) is an ongoing 2016-23 New South Wales, Australia Divorce-Custody-Property Settlement case. The three main actors are a wealthy, 94 year-old, JW Family Matriarch; her only-surviving-child and dependent-on-mother JW Son; and the disfellowshipped (9/2020) and divorced (5/2021) ex-wife. Both litigants were/are frequently being dishonest, disceitful, and outright liars --essentially using "every trick in the book" against each other.

The JW Couple had twins -- son and daughter -- in 2006, and another son in 2010. This couple lived together until December 2019 (despite Wife openly carrying on an affair), when Police removed Wife from the family home due to violence concerns. Husband cared for their three children until September 2022, when the family court granted Ex-wife custody of the youngest child.

In order to obscure the family's status as Jehovah's Witnesses, the Husband has repeatedly interjected suggestions that he, his ex-wife, and their children celebrated holidays and birthdays -- which disfellowshipped ex-wife denies. Husband even testified that he was unaware that a Kingdom Hall was located less than two blocks from the two homes where he has lived his entire life. Amusingly, Husband testified that he always has placed the interests of his three children over and above the beliefs and practices of the Jehovah's Witnesses, and that he was "born to be a husband and father. There's nothing as rewarding as that." Husband also has asserted that he no longer is a believing JW, while disfellowshipped Ex-wife claims to still be a believer.

In fact, Husband (b:1966) was reared as one of Jehovah's Witnesses by two active JWParents in the typical WatchTower Cult fashion -- meetings, field service, TMS, etc. Twenty-six year-old Husband actually met his then 16 year-old immigrant future wife "at the door" in 1993. She was baptized in 1994, at age 17, so that she could marry 27/28 year-old Husband as soon as she became 18 years-old. Neither party has ever been gainfully employed for any significant period of time during their 25 year marriage. Rather, they depended on Husband's wealthy JWParents for the couple's $1,100,000.00 home (two doors down from parents' home), and had free access to a $500,000.00 bank account. Both parties also applied for and received government disability pensions for injuries (Husband) and CFS (Wife:2005).

Complicating complicated matters, the couple's female Jehovah's Witness Attorney (A.S.?) continued to counsel both Husband and Wife through their separation (12/2019) until five months before their divorce was final (5/2021). In fact, the female JW Attorney advised Wife to confess her adulteress affair to the Elders, advised/assisted Wife in confessing the affair to Husband, and advised Wife to forget about trying to get custody of her children due to her having committed adultery.

... I have noted on numerous occasions my concerns in relation to the conduct of two professional people -- Ms D, the children's long-time counsellor, and the [Husband's] solicitor, who was formerly the Grandmother's solicitor, ... the solicitor owed, and always owes, specific and clear duties to the Court. Certain documents that were plainly in her possession, notably from the Grandmother's former solicitor, were not disclosed until after a specific Court Order, after the final hearing had concluded. Once those documents ultimately came to light, it made clear that her client (at this stage, the Husband) had filed an Affidavit that was clearly erroneous, and therefore misleading. It is unclear what, if any steps, were undertaken to check the Husband's Affidavit before it was filed. On its face, it would appear that little if any checking was done of it. Further, in the light of the Husband's evidence that the solicitor read his Affidavit to him (along with other documents), the jurat to the Husband's trial Affidavit (and others likewise) did not disclose that the [Husband] had difficulties reading and comprehending. Plainly it was, as to form, and as to evidence, an incorrect jurat. For the reasons given, in my view, there was also clear lack of financial disclosure by the Husband in the course of this litigation. For these reasons, the conduct of the [Husband's] lawyer should be referred to the Law Society for consideration. I request that the local Registrar of the Court provide a copy of these reasons to the Law Society.

Also in these reasons I have set out the multiple concerns regarding the conduct of the children's counsellor, Ms D. For the reason given earlier, in my view, her conduct was unprofessional and unethical. Her conduct could, and perhaps should, have led to her being cited for contempt. Strictly, her actions were an abuse of the Court processes. I also request the local Registrar of the Court to provide these reasons to the relevant psychologists' registration board for consideration.

(Given that the psychologist "Ms D" was a pre-divorce, "longtime" councellor of this Jehovah's Witness Family's three children, there is a good possibility that "Ms D" was either a JW, or was "JW approved". If either case is true, she would have a large JW clientele, with a business relationship to protect.)

The "views" of the children, at one level, are plain in their general unanimity of not wanting to see or to spend time with their Mother. This is in circumstances where they had lived with both parents for years, but following a single and eventful evening that involved the police in December 2019, they have all but ignored, and quite vigorously so, any time or connection with their Mother. To state the obvious: this is very alarming. In the circumstances, and for the multiple reasons already given, the Court cannot give very much weight to the general views of the children, precisely because they have clearly been so tainted since the Mother left the residence. Further, the strident views of the children were either ignored, or certainly unexplained, by the Father. I have great difficulty in accepting that he has genuinely tried to encourage the children to see or spend time with their Mother. Put another way, he is the only parent at home and has been so now since [January 2020]; he is their primary reference point, subject to what is said later (and noted earlier) in relation to their counsellor, Ms D.

[Ms D] might, in general terms, be styled as something of a Svengali figure, namely someone who exerts control even to the point of manipulation over another, in this case, obviously the children. As set out earlier, she appears to be, and by virtue of the limited abilities of others (e.g. the Father), and the apparently limited contact with many other adults, a person of very significant influence over the children.

This complete paradox of the children living with their Mother one day, and ignoring her ever since, together with a significant level of hostility towards her, highlights the various degrees of difficulty in finding out what has really happened in the dynamic between the children and the Father, on one hand, and as between the children and the Mother on the other. The Father even opined that if the December 2019 incident had not occurred, it was likely that the family would all still be together. At almost every level, this was (and is) bizarre.

Clearly, given the ages of the older two children, in my view, it would be a useless exercise for the Court to make Orders regarding them to spend any time with the Mother. Their age and how entrenched their views are makes such a course completely inapt. The "main game", so to speak, relates to the younger child, Z. His views, as recorded in the various reports, are quite conflicted. ...

Any separation of siblings is a significant matter in every respect, ... However, it comes down in many respects to the precarious balance between, on the one hand, Z's relationship with his Father and his siblings, and on the other, the currently almost non-existent relationship with his Mother.

In my view, there is no doubt that Z's relationship with his Father and his siblings is secure. There is no evidence to suggest in any way that those relationships are under any type of threat, or that they would in any way be threatened or likely diminished by him spending time with his Mother, or indeed, living with her. As stated during the trial on more than one occasion, and without placing any extra stress or expectation on him, he may well be or become a "bridge" between his siblings and the Mother. On any view, this would, potentially at least, be a very good outcome, accepting that if such should occur, it is likely that it will take a huge effort by all involved, which would also require significant professional assistance to achieve it. In short, Z has a good and close relationship with his siblings and his Father. The relationship with his Mother is fragile, at best.

... Questions of parental capacity in providing for the various needs of the children, and parental responsibility, are the two most crucial aspects of the considerations here. In the light of the evidence earlier outlined, in my view, it is almost impossible to understand (i) how this family lived, apart from the parents using the paternal Grandmother's funds from the "joint account" for daily living expenses (the Father seems to have been employed sporadically as a tradesman during the relationship, while the Mother earned very modest income from some crafts), and (ii) how each parent exercised their various responsibilities, especially with respect to the children. It seems to be not questioned that the Mother generally looked after the domestic side of things, including the preparation of meals, and for a number of years, she home-schooled the children, which exercise also included assisting the Father to read and undertake basic arithmetic/mathematics.

Further, the Father's evidence, not seriously challenged also, was that it was the Mother who largely supervised the household and gave it such direction that it had. It was the Mother's decision, on the Father's evidence, to put the children into school to ensure that they had a more regular education; he said that he wanted just to keep them at home because he wanted to be with them. As a result of these matters from the Father's evidence, clearly he has little concept of parental responsibility, parental planning and much else besides. On the evidence, it is almost unfathomable to work out how he filled his days during the relationship, and even still now.

The Father's further evidence about him trying to keep the Mother happy, and at the same time, supposedly trying to protect the children from the Mother's alleged violence of varying kinds, coupled with his contention that things would have largely stayed the same for the family (whatever that might actually mean) but for the [December] 2019 incident and the break-up of the family, was a model of confusion and lack of insight.

The independent reports from school in relation to the well-being of the children, supports the Mother's account of looking after and caring for the children satisfactorily. Conversely, it undermines the account by the Father of the Mother's predations against the children. To a degree, it also likewise undermines the extent of the claims of the children of the Mother's violence towards them. Put another way: how can such consistent claims of violence and similar terrible behaviour by the Mother never be noticed, over many years, by teachers at the children's schools? It is logically inconsistent. The Father's claim or explanation (if that is what is was) that everyone, including the children, were all "good actors", in my view was another bizarre and implausible account by the Father. Again it showed astonishing lack of insight, and understanding, and general perception of what was going on in the family.

The incredulity about the Father's evidence, and in turn his lack of insight and understanding, was his claim that the children were academically gifted. The ICL's cross examination of him in this regard, which was not a criticism of the children's modest academic abilities, clearly showed a number of the Father's significant parenting short-comings.

In a similar vein, the Father's "sexualised talk", firstly about his daughter X to a group of boys at school, was an alarming instance of his lack of boundaries, insight and so much else. How any parent could speak in this way about their daughter is highly disturbing in every respect. Secondly, he spoke also in a sexualised way, before strangers, at Ms H's office and in parent-teacher interviews. The Father has little or no boundaries; plainly he does not recognise them, and has rarely if ever been challenged over them.

In short, I have the greatest concern and reservations about the Father's parenting capacities, and similarly regarding the exercise, historically and presently, of his parental responsibilities towards the children. Indeed, the ICL noted fairly that the children were essentially looking after, and looking out for, him.

The assessment of the Mother in these respects is rather more opaque because of the hostile evidence of the children, and the completely unreliable evidence of the Father. Again, almost because they are independent, albeit now from a little time ago, the reports from the children's school are (indeed, must be) a reasonable and reliable base for the Court to conclude that, notwithstanding the evidence levelled against her by the other members of the family, because the good reports of the children's well-being and presentation over a number of years, it must be that the Mother's exercise of parental responsibility, decision-making and the like, were certainly nowhere near as questionable as others have made out. Further, her decision (and insistence) that the children go to school, rather than to remain being home-schooled by her, was practical and important. It was made over the shallow and inapt opposition of the Father. The Mother's home-schooling, absent any evidence to the contrary, appears to have been adequate and generally satisfactory.

... given the relative proximity of the living situations of the children and the Father, on the one hand, and the Mother, on the other, practical difficulty and expense do not really arise here. Other, more delicate, matters are in play, including the communication between Z and his Father (and the siblings). Because of what is proposed by the ICL (supported by the Mother in the alternative to her primary position), with which I agree, some very specific matters have to be put in place at the outset to try to give the plan a genuine chance to work. These will include, initially and for a short period of time, some very tight restrictions on communication between Z and his paternal family (including the Grandmother) and siblings. Everyone will need to be guided by experts, particularly in the early stages of Z taking up residence with his Mother. In my view, it is unconscionable to leave Z in the care of his Father (although, really it is being in the primary care of his older siblings). It is literally now, as recorded earlier in conversation with Ms E, an "all or nothing play".

Matters of "family violence" have been noted earlier in these reasons. Summarised, the Father (and the children) make many claims of violence against the Mother but there has been no relevant intervention by either the Father (contrary to his somewhat grandiose claims) or by Care and Protection authorities. The incident in December 2019 remains concerning but, almost bizarrely, still rather lacking in detail as to what actually happened. There was limited involvement by the Courts, except for what has been recorded earlier. As with so much of the evidence here, confusion and imprecision at multiple levels has reigned.

As already noted a number of times, there is so much doubt about much of the evidence, and so much delicacy about any possible or realistic solution, as to make any Orders of the Court somewhat fraught. It is indeed a choice between (as the ICL said) the "least worst" option. In my view, the so-called status quo is untenable for all children, but relevantly (for reasons given earlier in the light of the ages of the older children) it is not in Z's best interests simply to remain in the current household with the Father and risk being further "poisoned" against his Mother. He should at least have the possibility of that relationship being repaired and restored, to the degree that this might be possible. As such, the course now Ordered by the Court is the one that is not only in the child's (Z's) best interests but also the least likely to result in further litigation, accepting that everything here is utterly problematic. ... This includes an Order for sole parental responsibility for the Mother in relation to Z. On the evidence, it is undeniable that the parents cannot, and do not, communicate. The "co-parenting" relationship between the parents is non-existent; when it was "operational", the evidence plainly shows it to have been alarmingly dysfunctional.

CALIFORNIA v. RODRIGO MUNOZ was a 2016-22 California RAPE prosecution whose appellate decision provides invaluable life lessons for sheltered Jehovah's Witness teenagers of both sexes. The 2012 "rape" was not reported to police until 2016 -- according to Rodrigo Munoz, only after he made threats which could be interpreted as his considering pursuing visitation or custody of his illegitimate daughter born in 2013. In 2020, Rodrigo Munoz was found "guilty" of forcible rape, but "not guilty" of forcible sodomy. Rodrigo Munoz was sentenced to a three-year prison term.

Rodrigo Munoz and JWBaby-Momma told "vastly different" stories during trial testimony in Santa Cruz County Superior Court. The following edited excerpts are taken from the 2022 decision issued by the Court of Appeals of California.

MUNOZ and JWFEMALE met in late 2009, when they both were 17 years old. Munoz lived with his JW family, and JWFemale lived with her parents in a nearby town. Munoz and JWFemale both were raised as Jehovah's Witnesses. JWFemale was "baptized", while Munoz was not. In 2010, Munoz contacted JWFemale through social media, and in 2011, they started a relationship.

JWFemale described their relationship before having intercourse as being "boyfriend" and "girlfriend," talking to each other romantically, but not being "intimate." She and Munoz did not "date." They spent time in groups, were alone in a mall once or twice, and held hands and kissed once in 2012. She never "made out" with Munoz, nor took off her clothes. Munoz knew that JWFemale adhered to her faith. Munoz was possessive and did not want her "talking to anybody, especially guys." At one point, Munoz asked if she wanted to have sex, which Munoz knew was not something she would do as a baptized Jehovah's Witness, and she told him no. Around April or May 2012 she told him she did not want to talk anymore. She attended his high school graduation in June 2012 because she way trying to be a good friend, but they were no longer "talking romantically."

Munoz came to JWFemale's home unannounced on July 3, 2012, and had forced, nonconsensual intercourse with her. JWFemale had nonconsensual sex with Munoz four or five more times in July, although those times she did not resist him physically and "let it happen." One of those instances involved anal penetration. She confessed to an "Elder" at the end of July that she had sex one time, and she was "privately reproved" by a Judicial Committee. After JWFemale's Elders learned from Munoz's Elders that the couple had engaged in intercourse multiple times, JWFemale was "disfellowshipped" for "lying".

JWFemale resumed a relationship with Munoz in Fall 2012, and they had intercourse a few more times before JWFemale again ended the relationship because "all he wanted" was sex. Munoz "left her alone completely" when she told him she had a problem with what he was doing, and warned if he contacted her again, she would go to the police with "proof of everything." JWFemale later found out she was pregnant with Munoz's child, delivered a premature baby girl in May 2013, and resumed a relationship with Munoz for the sake of their child. JWFemale felt like her plans for the future had been ruined, she had disappointed her parents, and "the only thing [she] could do was just stay with him, or try, for [the child], not for [her]." When she brought up the July 3 incident, Munoz told her to "forget it" and "get over it" because "things are different" now that they had a daughter. She tried to "get over it," but Munoz was sexually aggressive and possessive, and she again ended the relationship in 2014.

JWFemale described instances of Munoz stalking her in 2015, including messaging things like "I know you're not home. Where are you?" and "Confess your sins ... or I'll do it." In late 2015, JWFemale reported Munoz's stalking behavior to the police, but did not mention the 2012 rape, because "it had been a while back," and she "didn't know there was anything that could be done." JWFemale applied for a domestic violence restraining order in November 2015, in which she stated "On July 3rd, 2012 ... he sexually abused me, I was in a fragile situation and he took advantage of me and forced me into it."

In April 2016, JWFemale and Munoz attended the same social function, where Munoz told JWFemale that she was "going to pay" for what she was doing, he was "`going to hit [her] where it will hurt [her] the most,'" and she was "`going to regret it.'" That is when JWFemale decided to report the rape. Around that time, JWFemale told her parents everything that had happened, and the two families met. JWFemale's father confronted Munoz about raping JWFemale. Munoz stayed quiet and did not deny it. Child support was not discussed at that meeting. JWFemale was unaware of any child support action at that time, and she did not threaten to report the rape if Munoz refused to drop the support case.

MUNOZ testified that once he and JWFemale started dating, they went to the movies two or three times a week, where their sexual intimacy progressed from kissing to digital vaginal penetration. Later they spent time in vehicles where they undressed and engaged in penile vaginal contact. During one of those instances, JWFemale asked Munoz whether he had a condom, which shocked him. They sent love letters to each other. Letters were admitted in evidence from the first half of 2012 in which JWFemale expressed her love for Munoz and her desire to marry him.

The first time Munoz and JWFemale had sexual intercourse was June 5, 2012, their one-year anniversary. (We note that Munoz assigned an earlier date to the charged events than recounted by JWFemale, who described them as occurring on July 3, 2012. However both JWFemale and Munoz described the incident as taking place in JWFemale's apartment, and as the first time JWFemale had ever had intercourse.) Munoz testified that the sex was consensual, and that JWFemale provided a condom. They continued having consensual intercourse into August, at which time they agreed to "break [their] relationship" in order to "fix [their] relationship with God" by "confessing their sins" to their respective Elders. After righting themselves, they would "start dating legit." At one point they had sex in JWFemale's father's truck, and Munoz accidently penetrated JWFemale's anus. It was dark, she pulled away, he apologized, they hugged, got dressed, and talked about their relationship. JWFemale wanted to tell their parents they were still having sex and were going to run away. Munoz told JWFemale that he had just started working and did not have money saved. JWFemale was furious that Munoz would not speak to her parents, Munoz realized he had fallen short of her expectations, and their relationship ended. But they had more sex later that year in October and November.

JWFemale contacted Munoz after their daughter was born. They "kept seeing each other" after Munoz met his daughter, and his relationship with JWFemale "progressed" to being "together" again. Text messages from May and June 2014 show the two in an amorous relationship, with JWFemale expressing her love for Munoz. The relationship ended when JWFemale no longer wanted to accept money from him. Munoz maintained weekly visits with his daughter for a year or two, but JWFemale's family started to make visiting more difficult, and Munoz saw his daughter less and less.

In April 2016, Munoz had not seen his daughter in several months. He told JWFemale he was going to file a child support application, but he was still in love with her and wanted to work things out informally. About the same time, Munoz attended a social function where JWFemale's mother would not let him dance with his daughter. Munoz became upset and told JWFemale that she was "going to pay" for that. On April 17, he filed an application to determine child support (which he understood as a means "to have more custody" with his daughter), and the county opened a support case on May 3. JWFemale telephoned Munoz upset about the application, and JWFemale's father convened a meeting. JWFemale and her father accused defendant of "taking [Doe] at force" and Munoz was shocked. They discussed the DNA testing required to establish paternity, and the amount of child support JWFemale would receive. JWFemale and her father asked Munoz to drop the child support case, and JWFemale threatened to report that Munoz forced her to have sex if he continued with the application. Munoz's parents testified that JWFemale and her father wanted Munoz to withdraw the child support case, and JWFemale threatened that she would claim that Munoz abused her if he did not comply.

Munoz described the encounter as JWFemale providing unequivocal consent: Munoz testified that he contacted JWFemale as he approached her apartment; she opened the door; they embraced; briefly talked; and started "making out" on the sofa. After 30 seconds or a minute, JWFemale gave Munoz an inviting "little look" and they together moved from the sofa to the bed as they continued kissing. They both undressed; they started "doing first just the tip"; JWFemale retrieved a condom from the windowsill and offered to put it on Munoz's penis. Munoz was embarrassed and nervous; he knew it was JWFemale's first time; and he put the condom on himself. The intercourse started with her on top, but her legs started to shake so they switched positions. They had brief intercourse with him on top, until she asked him to stop, at which time he "pulled away" and they started cuddling. She did not push him away or cry, and he did not use force. The prosecutor asked Munoz in his mind how many seconds of unwanted sex would amount to rape. Munoz responded, "It never happened, so how would I know."

JWFemale testified that the sex was forced and without her consent. Munoz came to her apartment unannounced and was aware of her views against premarital sex. She opened the door because she thought it was one of her parents who had just left for work, and she was surprised to see Munoz. He said he wanted to talk, came inside, and told her he loved her. He "started to get too close," she "got up," he "cornered" her and started kissing her in a forceful way. She kissed him back at first, thinking it would calm him down. But it didn't and she stopped responding to the kissing. Munoz grabbed her and pushed her onto the bed. "And he just went on top of me, and I was pushing him and was telling him to stop, but he didn't." He "started grabbing [her] hand" and tried to pull down her pajamas, and she "was fighting through the whole time." She "was telling him to stop" and "asking him, `[w]hat are you doing?'" He did not answer. He held her hands and pulled down her pants and forced himself into her. At that point she stopped moving and was "just crying and crying," and "he just kept going until he stopped." Afterwards, he hugged her and said he was sorry.

... In contrast here there was no substantial evidence of equivocal conduct which Munoz could have reasonably mistaken for consenting to intercourse. If believed, defendant's testimony -- that he and JWFemale "made out," moved to the bed and undressed together, and that JWFemale provided and offered to apply a condom -- would establish actual consent. If believed, JWFemale's account -- that after kissing defendant she physically and verbally resisted as he pinned down her arms and pulled down her pants -- would preclude any reasonable belief of consent....

Munoz argues substantial evidence supports a mistaken consent instruction because after he arrived at JWFemale's apartment, she kissed him and "acquiesced when he did other things"; he could have reasonably misinterpreted JWFemale's "look" to mean a desire to have sex; he and JWFemale agree that she told him to stop; and "[a] reasonable juror could have concluded that [he] did stop more or less immediately, though it might have seemed longer to JWFemale." We acknowledge JWFemale's testimony that she initially "kiss[ed] him back." But in light of all the testimony, that is not sufficient evidence of equivocal consent to sexual intercourse. JWFemale testified that she stopped kissing Munoz and actively resisted him both verbally and physically up to the moment he penetrated her, at which time she started to cry. Had the jury believed Munoz's testimony that he "pulled away" as soon as JWFemale asked him to stop, it would have necessarily rejected JWFemale's testimony about actively resisting and it would have returned a not guilty verdict. Crediting Munoz's version of the events leads to a defense of actual consent, not mistaken consent.

... Munoz points to JWFemale's "motive to minimize her role and shift blame" to preserve her standing with her family and church. But this too is a challenge to JWFemale's credibility, not circumstantial evidence of her equivocation. Even if the jury believed that JWFemale and Munoz had done "more than kiss" before the charged incident; that JWFemale and Munoz had frequent consensual sex after the incident; that JWFemale wanted more from the relationship than JWFemale was able to give; and that JWFemale's decision to report the rape was motivated by Munoz's decision to assert his parental rights, none of that evidence establishes mistake on the date in question. Nor does the 36-minute pretext call made in 2017 provide a basis for mistaken consent. At times in the pretext call Munoz appears to acknowledge forcing himself on JWFemale; at other times he takes the position that he stopped when JWFemale asked him to stop. At the beginning of the call, Munoz responded, "are you really serious about that?" when JWFemale told him she was thinking about reporting "what happened in 2012 when everything started, when, um, you forced me to have relations with you." Munoz replied with, "It didn't even last 10 seconds," and insisted that he pulled away when JWFemale "pushed me ... [and] said stop three times." Never on the lengthy call did Munoz or JWFemale suggest that Munoz had misunderstood some act or conduct on JWFemale's part as consent. ... ...

Munoz presented one character witness, a woman he dated and with whom he had sex around the time that Munoz first had sex with JWFemale; she testified that Munoz had a character for nonviolence. ... Munoz's character witness testified that she had a three-year relationship with Munoz which started when she was 15 and Munoz was 17. Their families were close and had known each other since she was small. She was sexually intimate with Munoz throughout the relationship and had sexual intercourse with him. In her opinion, Munoz had a character and reputation for nonviolence.

A.B. v. K.R.K.Y. is an ongoing 2009-22 Pennsylvania child custody case. The final custody order entered September 2018 provided that the parties share legal custody, and awarded primary physical custody of the parties' three children to the non-JW Mother. The order granted the JWFather partial physical custody every weekend, except one, each month during the school year; alternating weeks during the summer months; and certain holidays.

The parties were married October 2005, separated February 2009, and divorced December 2011. Since their divorce, both parties have remarried: JWFather to JWWife, who has three children - ages 12, 18 and 20 - from a previous relationship, and Mother to Stepfather, who has two sons from a previous relationship, ages 12 and 13, and a five-year-old daughter, TaylorB, with Mother.

The three children who are the subject of these custody proceedings are DavidY, age 10 (D.O.B. 10/23/08); MeganY, age 12 (D.O.B. 9/25/06); and MadisynY, age 13 (D.O.B. 4/18/05). JWFather lives in Perkasie, Bucks County, Pennsylvania, and Mother resides in Lehighton, Carbon County, Pennsylvania. (about 40 miles apart).

Following the parties' separation, Mother was the primary caretaker of the Children. This arrangement was confirmed by court order in February 2009. Subsequent final custody orders dated March 16, 2012, and November 12, 2013, maintained primary physical custody of the Children with Mother. The instant matter was heard on JWFather's petition for modification filed in September 2017.

All three Children attend the public schools in Lehighton, which they have attended most recently for the past two years, are doing well academically, and are involved in various extracurricular activities. Each Child was separately questioned in chambers with counsel present. Madisyn, who is an honor roll student in the 8th grade, testified that she prefers living with Mother: she has a very close relationship with Mother, in contrast to that with JWFather; she is involved in cheerleading, softball and chorus through the school; her friends are all in Lehighton; and she feels pressured by JWFather to become a Jehovah's Witness, which she opposes, wanting instead to attend church with Mother. Madisyn is strongly against living with JWFather, and does not get along well with JWFather's JWWife.

Megan, who is in sixth grade, testified that she wants to live with JWFather: she has a better relationship with JWFather than with her Mother, Mother and Stepfather like her sister and brother more than her, and treat them better, students at school bully her, which she believes is not taken seriously by Mother, and she wants to become a Jehovah's Witness. Megan plays softball, and also wanted to join the football team, but was too late for sign-ups. Given the choice between being separated from Madisyn but living with JWFather, or living with her sister and Mother at Mother's home, she preferred to live separate from her sister rather than live with Mother.

David, who is in the fourth grade, would like to spend more time with JWFather than under the current order. He has a good relationship with both his parents, is closer with Megan than with Madisyn, wants to be home-schooled, started baseball this fall, and appeared to be less sure on what the custody arrangements should be, and what the effects of a change would mean.

Unfortunately, the stress of the custody proceedings, and the tension and disagreements between Mother and JWFather over the Children's religious upbringing, and the relative importance of the Children attending activities they want to attend on weekends when they are scheduled to be with JWFather, have created emotional issues for the Children requiring medical treatment and therapy.

In February 2018, Madisyn was admitted to Kids Peace for a few days when she made threats to harm herself. Megan was hospitalized for a week in January 2018, and for another week in March 2018, when she threatened to harm herself and began making cutting marks. Both Madisyn and Megan have been diagnosed with depression and have been prescribed and take anti-depressant medication. All three Children have been in counseling, and Megan and David still receive therapy.

JWFather is a practicing Jehovah's Witness and is active in his faith with JWWife. JWFather's desire to have the Children receive religious instruction as Jehovah's Witnesses, to have the Children participate in door-to-door ministry, and to attend gatherings and functions of the Jehovah's Witnesses has strained the relationship between JWFather and Madisyn and created divisions between the parties. JWFather is unwilling to transport the Children to extracurricular activities in which they are engaged on weekends when they are scheduled to be with him, believing that this interferes with his time with the Children and that the Children's attendance at activities of the Jehovah's Witnesses is more important. Additionally, JWFather testified that he does not celebrate the Children's birthdays or religious holidays, such as Christmas or Easter, since this is contrary to the teachings of the Jehovah's Witnesses.

In contrast, Mother celebrates Christmas and Easter in her household and has yearly birthday parties for the Children, all of which are important family events. Mother is an active member of a non-denominational church, and would like equal time in instructing the Children in her faith. Mother attends all of the Children's practices and games, and is dedicated to having the Children participate in these and other activities.

For the most part, since the parties separated, Mother and JWFather have dealt directly with one another in discussing and resolving custodial issues involving the Children. On occasion, disagreements occurred. It was with respect to one such disagreement that Mother was held in contempt of court. During one October 2017 weekend, Madisyn and Megan wanted to attend a school dance and march in a Halloween parade with their teammates. Mother had attempted for days in advance to obtain JWFather's permission for Madisyn and Megan to participate in these activities, which were scheduled on one of JWFather's weekends, offering to give JWFather additional time with the Children, and to switch Mother's scheduled weekend with the Children with JWFather to accommodate this request. Notwithstanding multiple texts from Mother to JWFather making this request, and explaining the importance to the Children of attending these events, JWFather refused to respond, indicating only that he had received the text. Ultimately, Mother unilaterally decided to keep the Children for the weekend.

"Although we accepted as true Mother's repeated efforts to reach an agreement with JWFather and her good intentions for keeping the Children on this particular weekend, absent JWFather's consent, Mother's unilateral decision to withhold the Children was a violation of the custody order for which we found Mother in contempt. Nevertheless, because of the mitigating circumstances, a fine of $100.00 was the only sanction imposed; however, Mother was also advised of the significance of this violation and how disrespect for legal process can factor into the fitness of a parent to be awarded custody of children."

At times, however, JWWife has interjected herself into these discussions, often exacerbating the situation. Approximately three years ago, the parties agreed to meet at Panther Park to discuss difficulties they were experiencing with the custodial arrangements and possible solutions. At this meeting while Mother and JWFather remained in one area of the park, JWWife and Stepfather took the Children to another area of the park so the parties could talk privately between themselves outside the presence of the Children.

The parties met for approximately two hours and were still in discussion when JWWife returned and heard Mother telling JWFather that she felt JWFather was too zealous in his efforts to involve the Children in his faith, and requiring them to attend various meetings and functions of the Jehovah's Witnesses. JWWife interpreted this as a criticism of her religion and inserted herself into the conversation. This led to a shouting match, the Children in tears, and JWFather directing JWWife to leave.

In August 2017, when Mother was requesting JWFather to give up some of his weekend time with the Children so the Children could attend activities they were enrolled in, JWWife, feeling JWFather was being taken advantage of, broke into the conversation and, communicating directly with Mother, accused Mother of laying a guilt trip on JWFather. Mother responded that the issue was between her and JWFather, that JWWife was intermeddling. The exchange between Mother and JWWife rapidly deteriorated into both demeaning the other, questioning their respective parenting abilities, and Mother comparing JWWife's religion to a cult, and blaming JWWife for the death of JWWife's newborn child. As a result of this heated exchange, in which both said things that should never have been said, the relationship between Mother and JWWife today is non-existent.

On another occasion ... Mother texted Madisyn ... that JWFather may have continued the case to take his "precious family", referring to JWWife and her children, to Knoebels. In the past, JWFather chose to give up time with the Children in preference to going to Knoebels with JWWife and her children, causing the Children to feel slighted.

On another occasion, JWWife had posted conversations she had with the Children on Facebook to her friends in which she referred to the Children as her children. When Madisyn learned of this, she was offended, and wrote JWWife that the Children were not hers. Mother wrote JWWife that she would have Madisyn delete the comments.

Before the parties separated, they agreed that each would raise the Children in their own faith, and that when the Children became old enough to make a decision what faith they wanted to practice each child would decide for himself or herself. Under the November 2013 custody order, Mother had the Children the first and third Sunday of each month and JWFather had partial physical custody on the remaining Sundays, thus giving the parties relatively equal time attending to the religious instruction of the Children. This continued until the November 2017 interim order, which awarded JWFather partial physical custody on the first three weekends of every month. In consequence, Mother has been more limited in raising the Children in her faith and taking them to her church.

The effect of the November 2017 interim order has further interfered with the Children's attendance at games on Sundays when they are with their JWFather. JWFather has taken the position that these Sundays are his time with the Children, that taking the Children to their games on Sundays takes time away from him, and that it's his decision what the Children do when they are scheduled to be with him; JWFather also contends that he cannot afford the expense of transporting the Children to their games. Because the Children, especially Madisyn, want to attend their games, and because their absence jeopardizes their ability to remain on the team, JWFather's unwillingness to allow and arrange for the Children's attendance has been a source of frequent contention between the parties.

Mother repeatedly testified that she is not opposed to JWFather educating the Children in his faith, but that she believes he has been overbearing and overzealous in this regard. Mother's biggest concern with respect to religion is that she would like to have the same amount of time as JWFather does on Sundays in order that she also can have the Children attend and be instructed in her faith. In support of her stance that she is not opposed to JWFather's religion, Mother testified how she had recently switched weekends with JWFather in order to allow him to take Megan and David to a weeklong convention of the Jehovah's Witnesses.

This is not a case directly involving JWFather's religious freedom or his right to educate and raise the Children in his faith, versus Mother's similar right to have the Children raised in her faith, as much as it is a disagreement over whether the amount of time the Children are involved with the Jehovah's Witnesses when they are with JWFather unreasonably and contrary to their best interests impedes their ability to participate in other worthwhile activities. The constitutional limitations upon the application of the spiritual component of the best interests analysis in the context of valuing the relative merits of one religion over another, or whether the beliefs and doctrines of a particular faith in and of themselves are harmful to the child, are therefore not an issue in this case.

Further, that JWFather has anger issues which affect and terrify the Children was testified to by Madisyn. When questioned by JWFather's counsel, Madisyn testified how JWFather is easily angered; yells at JWWife, pushes her into a bedroom and shuts the door; throws his phone across the room when angry, on one or two occasions hitting Madisyn; and slams his fist on the table. Madisyn also explained that both parties have bad moods and upset the entire home. ... ...

JWFather's claim that the court disregarded the evidence concerning Madisyn and Megan's mental health and treatment is without basis, and his contention that Mother or the living conditions at Mother's home are the cause of Madisyn and Megan's thoughts of self-harm ... is not only speculative, but ignores the evidence the effect of this litigation and the disputes and arguments between the parties regarding custody and their disparagement of one another has on the Children. ...

Contrary to JWFather's blaming Mother for these mental health issues, Mother's relationship with Madisyn and Megan has made it easier for her to know and understand what her daughters are experiencing. Megan and Madisyn are open and honest with Mother about their feelings. It is easier for Madisyn to talk to Mother than JWFather, and when Madisyn has thoughts of self-harm, she confides in Mother, not JWFather. Moreover, Mother's experience with depression and cutting herself when she was 14 years-old gives her a better understanding of what her daughters are experiencing and how to talk to them about it.

Recognizing their daughters' needs for help, Mother and JWFather working together arranged for Madisyn's treatment at Kids Peace in February of this year, and for Megan's hospitalization at First Hospital earlier in January. When Megan was hospitalized a second time two months later, in March of this year, JWFather opposed the hospitalization, yet when Megan was evaluated by health care professionals in the field, it was determined that Megan needed to be hospitalized for almost a week. ... Megan herself testified that this hospitalization was the best hospital experience she had.

As to this issue, not only did we take into account when awarding primary custody the mental health needs of Madisyn and Megan, we also considered Mother's insight into these needs, her relationship with her daughters, and the actions and decisions she took and treatment she sought for her daughters. JWFather's belief that the cause of his daughters' problems is stress in the Mother's household is speculative at best given the complicated nature of diagnosing the source and cause of mental health issues, and his lack of expertise in this area fails to fairly consider the impact and effect of the custody litigation itself, and the stress and divisions caused by the parties' disagreements, particularly those involving their Children's religious upbringing and attendance at activities; and fails to take into account that the threats made by Madisyn and Megan occurred on Fridays when they were scheduled to go to JWFather's home.

In awarding Mother primary custody, JWFather contends we erred in disregarding the "clear, unambiguous and well-reasoned preferences" of Megan and David to live with JWFather. In presenting this argument, JWFather appears not to dispute that his relationship with Madisyn has been strained for the past few years, and that Madisyn strongly desires to remain with Mother.

As to Megan and David's preferences, neither was "clear, unambiguous and well-reasoned". Megan testified that she gets along fine with Madisyn, that she did not believe she and Madisyn should be separated, and that the best arrangement would be to equally divide the parties' time with the Children and keep the Children together.

Recognizing that this was not possible since the parties live in different school districts and approximately 45 minutes apart, Megan testified that as between living with Madisyn at Mother's home or being separated from Madisyn but living with JWFather, she preferred the latter.

David's preference to live with JWFather was weaker still. Madisyn testified that when she and David discussed where to live, David wanted to remain with Mother. Megan testified that she believed David was on the fence and could not decide. David himself testified that he would like to go to JWFather's "a little longer." However, when David was asked for reasons why he said certain things, such as wanting to become a Jehovah's Witness, why he gets along better with Megan than Madisyn, or how staying with JWFather a little longer would affect his schooling, he couldn't explain. ...

While a child's preference is an important factor in determining a child's best interests, it is not the only factor, or necessarily the critical factor. The weight to be accorded a child's preference varies with the age, maturity and intelligence of that child, together with the reasons given for the preference. Moreover, as children grow older, more weight must be given to the preference of the child. As this Court has recently reaffirmed, where the households of both parents were equally suitable, a child's preference to live with one parent could not but tip the evidentiary scale in favor of that parent.

This, of course, did not contemplate the present situation where the Children's preferences are divided. In awarding primary custody of Megan to Mother, rather than JWFather, we have not ignored Megan's preference, but found that in addition to being a backup choice, it was outweighed by other factors, including the benefits of having the Children reside together -- rather than being separated, of the continuity and stability established during the nine years Megan has resided with Mother since the parties' separation, and of the insight and concern Mother has evidenced for Megan's mental health.

As we understand JWFather's position, JWFather believes it would be best to separate and divide the Children and to award primary physical custody of Megan and David to him, and primary physical custody of Madisyn to Mother. JWWife shares this belief. This, however, we believe would not be in the Children's best interests, would do more harm than good, and ignores the relationship the Children have with one another and with their half-sister, Taylor.

First, although there are inevitable sibling rivalries, the Children have lived together their entire lives and they do in fact get along with one another. JWFather seeks to change the status quo and the continuity and stability in the Children's relationships with one another, and with Mother, and with Stepfather.

Second, the importance of raising siblings together and maintaining a family unit should not be ignored. In addition to the relationship with one another, all of the Children have a good relationship with their half-sister, Taylor, especially David. ... ...

The best interest standard, decided in child custody cases on a case-by-case basis, is easy to state but difficult to apply. All factors which legitimately have an effect upon the child's physical, intellectual, moral and spiritual well-being must be considered. However, what weight these factors are to be given is for the presiding judge to decide. Each case is unique and must be decided in the context of all the facts and circumstances impinging on the child's best interests, without presumptions or mechanically applied rules.

In this case, we have carefully considered and weighed the evidence of record and the relevant factors required ... to be considered. In awarding primary physical custody of the Children to Mother, we gave significant weight to Mother's status as primary caretaker of the Children for over nine years and her proven ability to take care of the Children; the importance and benefits of preserving stability in the Children's lives, attendance in the same school district, and not separating the Children, but of continuing the sibling relationship which exists between them and has developed over the time they have resided together; and of the Children's mental health needs, particularly those of Madisyn and Megan, for which Mother has demonstrated a better insight and understanding than JWFather.

At the same time, the order entered recognizes the importance of JWFather in the Children's lives and provides JWFather with substantial, frequent partial physical custody to foster an ongoing relationship, provides for JWFather's participation in family counseling, and provides JWFather with an opportunity to educate and instruct the Children in his faith, recognizing the importance of religion in JWFather's life and that of his family.

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MOORE v. MOORE (NonJW Father v. JW Mother) was an ongoing 2010-14 New Zealand child custody contest that persons in similar contests in other jurisdictions may find helpful. This is a lengthy decision which we have heavily excerpted and edited.

Subsequent to her separation from the appellant in February 2010, the respondent became an adherent of the Jehovah's Witness faith and, without the appellant's consent, introduced their children, a daughter ("D" then aged 6 years) and a son ("S" then aged 4 years) to that faith. Initially, the respondent had care of the children, but in a decision dated 24 March 2014 the Family Court placed the children primarily in the care of the appellant. However the Judge declined to continue the interim guardianship order which had placed constraints on the children's participation in the Jehovah's Witness faith. ...

The interim guardianship order which was discharged had contained the following directions concerning the children's involvement with the Jehovah's Witness faith:

(a) That the children shall not attend Jehovah's Witness meetings or church activities including seminars or door knocking.

(b) That the children shall not be involved in or exposed to bible study including the reading of passages from the Watchtower.

(c) That the mother shall not discuss the Jehovah's Witness faith or teachings with the children.

However, in the judgment under appeal, the Judge specifically chose not to make further guardianship directions which would have prevented the children from participating in such activities. He considered that it would be artificial and impractical to prevent their involvement in their mother's faith but observed that the change in day-to-day care meant that the impact of the children's involvement in the [JW] faith would, at least theoretically, be lessened. ...

The appeal and cross-appeal were set down for a hearing of one and a half day's duration. The hearing commenced on 23 June 2014. Both the appellant and the respondent gave updating evidence and they were cross-examined at some length. Mr Higgs, a Court appointed psychologist, also gave evidence and was cross-examined. ... in addition to hearing from Ms Brown, the lawyer for the children, and Mr Higgs, Judge Geoghegan interviewed D. However S declined to attend a judicial interview. ...

Having heard the evidence in these proceedings I make the following findings:

... (c) That my assessment of the respondent is that she has a strict adherence to the faith with a literal interpretation of the beliefs of that faith. I consider her ability to be objective in terms of religious matters generally to be questionable which would provide limitations around her ability to recognise the legitimacy of other religions. This may well have an impact upon the children, particularly in the area of their developing social circles and networks as they get older, and which may not be directly connected to their faith.

(d) ... [the respondent] is showing signs at present that she is struggling with the behaviour of the children, and particularly with the manipulative behaviour which is exhibited from time to time by [D], and which in my assessment is a matter of growing concern. There is a need, particularly where [D] is concerned, for the imposition of clear boundaries and firm consequences in order to deal with that behaviour.

(e) That [the appellant] is more likely to be able to provide the authoritative environment which the children need and is also more likely to be able to improve and enhance the children's educational achievements and progress.

(f) That clearly the children are both closely attached to each parent. The children also have a clear wish to be involved in the Jehovah's Witness faith, although the weight that can be attached to that wish is, in my assessment, slight, given that they do not have the maturity to assess the principles and teaching of the Jehovah's Witness faith. They clearly enjoy being involved in it however, and should not be prevented from that involvement to the extent which is consistent with their best interests and welfare. ...

Judge Geoghegan described the parents' relationship as highly conflicted with an absence of constructive communication. The intensity of the conflict between the parties is manifest from the description of the history of the dispute at the commencement of the judgment. Mr Higgs acknowledged to [R-attorney] Jones that the conflict had gone on unabated for four years during which time it had not diminished at all and that over those four years the children had had to manage conflict on a day to day basis. Whereas the conflict was originally over a wide range of issues, it had latterly become focused on religion and was a psychologically damaging issue for the children. ...

In his oral evidence, Mr Higgs explained that when he first interviewed and observed the children in 2010, he did not notice any particular dissonance, making the further point that the children were then too young to have the reasoning capacity to have dissonance. Mr Higgs' updated psychological assessment dated 17 June 2014 described the phenomenon in this way:

The different values and practices of their mother's faith and their father's more secular values and lifestyle should provide a balance for the children. Unfortunately the differing values and practices at each of their parent's homes create confusion and worry for the children as a result of "cognitive dissonance".

Sadock & Sadock [2003] define cognitive dissonance as "incongruity or disharmony among a person's beliefs, knowledge, and behaviour". They note when dissonance becomes too great people change their ways of thinking or behaving to lessen the disharmony. Cognitive dissonance generally occurs when there is a palpable disparity between two elements of behaviour causing an uncomfortable state of tension that persons are motivated to change. Mr Higgs considered that the children were worried, anxious and experienced dissonance as a consequence of the conflicting values and prohibitions they experience with each of their parents.

A practical example concerned the children's participation in Cubs (D) and Keas (S). Mr Higgs observed the children at their father's home where they happily talked about their activities and had certificates on the wall reflecting their participation. However S had informed Ms Brown that learning about Jehovah was better than his friends, better than soccer, and better than Keas. Indeed he told her that he worried about going to Keas sometimes because "Keas teaches us about false religion and tells us that Jehovah doesn't exist".

Mr Higgs drew attention to this contradiction for S, making the point that this is not really a conflict that one wants a child of six or seven to be engaged in. That this instance of contradiction remains current was illustrated in the appellant's updating affidavit of 28 October 2014:

6. Both children are now enrolled in Cubs which they love but it clashes with the Jehovah Witness teachings, which is still causing them confusion. I have seen the children shuffling and disrespecting the leaders at flag time. [T]he children have also spoken to me about their concern the badges they get are seen as competitive. Also, recently the Cubs went for a bush walk under the stars. It was a great night and the leaders were discussing the constellations, using an I-Pad to help explain this. Both children had an excellent time. The following week the children came back from [the respondent's home] saying things like, "[T]hat's [constellations] all 'witchcraft', and 'false gods'. [I]ts 'nothing to do with the stars'. Jehovah made the whole world." ...

The Judge had referred at [17] to D's attitudes to Christmas and attending birthday parties in the course of his interview with her. In his oral evidence in June, Mr Higgs made reference to D's comment about birthday parties, Although she enjoys birthday parties, because she knew that her father wanted her to go to parties, [but] her mother did not, and because Jehovah does not approve, D did not know what was the right thing to do. Hence she took the conservative approach and decided not to go. On this subject, [children's attorney] Ms Brown's updated memorandum stated:

6. As to balance in the children's lives, it was notable to see a bit of a change in the children's general demeanour about two important things: Birthday parties and friends, and Music. It seems that [S] had his birthday party last week and had 6 friends over. ... He spoke openly about the great party he had, and his friends coming over. [D] also said she was there, and took responsibility for the food and drinks, and that it was fun. Furthermore, [D] was happy to talk with me about her plans for a party for her birthday (a few weeks away) and how many friends she was going to invite. It was to be at dad's house with games. There was absolutely no reference to Jehovah being displeased, or angry about this. The children chatted about parties without any sense of concern or guilt as was witnessed by me at our last interview. ...

Another incident on which there was a conflict of evidence concerned S wearing his t-shirt inside out. On Wednesday 24 September 2014, S was collected from school in his uniform by the respondent for Wednesday contact, When the appellant collected him later that evening he was wearing his Pokemon shirt inside out. Although the appellant said this was not of particular concern to him, on arriving at his home he did ask S was he aware that his shirt was inside out. To the appellant's surprise, S said that the respondent had told him to turn it inside out as it had a picture on it that Jehovah would find offensive.

It was [DECEITFULLY] put to the appellant in [R's] cross-examination that S had given that explanation to him as an excuse, because he thought that he might get into trouble because he was wearing the shirt inside out. The appellant responded that S had raised the same concern on a number of occasions. Indeed as recently as the previous day, S had rejected another shirt because it had a picture on it that the respondent did not like. It was apparent to me from my subsequent interview with S that he had a genuine concern about this issue. It was not a convenient excuse.

In her affidavit in response, the respondent [LIED] said that the fact that S put his t-shirt on inside out had nothing to do with her or Jehovah's Witness beliefs. She stated that she did not instruct him. Indeed she stated that they did not have any discussion about the issue. However in cross-examination, when asked why she did not tell S that his t-shirt was inside out, and to put it on the right way, she replied that she did ask him to turn the t-shirt back the right way, that he refused, that she asked him why, and that S simply said: "I want this way". After my interview with S, I indicated to the respondent that I had gained the impression that the reason why the incident took place about the t-shirt was because he did not want to upset her, and that it had something to do with Jehovah. I asked her if she could tell me why S might think that. ... However the consequence appears to be that there are a large number of t-shirts in his wardrobe which S will no longer wear. I apprehend that it is for a similar reason that S indicated that he would not take his prized Star Wars-themed Lego set to his mother's house. ...

The updated memorandum noted that D is a very talented young guitarist and is a member of a group practising for a concert (part of a national concert series throughout New Zealand) to be held at the local Baptist Church. The memorandum stated:

[D] is very excited and has been practising hard. When I asked her if mum was going, she said she didn't know. I asked about whether there might be a problem for mum going to the Baptist Church for the concert, and she agreed that might be the case. Then [S] piped up and said he didn't want to go either, because it might offend Jehovah. [D] was silent on that issue and had no further comment, except to add later that she was excited about going. This concert does fall on a weekend (Friday night) that the children will be with their mother. ...

The respondent confirmed in the course of her evidence that she would not be attending the concert. When I asked her to tell me precisely why she did not want to go to the Baptist Church where the concert was being held, she related at some length the bible story of Jesus evicting the money lenders and dove sellers from the temple. When I asked her whether Jesus would have objected to someone performing songs in the temple like D was going to do, she indicated he would not agree with that, because the house is for true worship. However it was also apparent that she would not go to the Baptist Church, even for a religious event, because she had found truth at the Kingdom Hall.

The appellant claimed that D had discussed with him the situation concerning the upcoming concert, that she was quite confused, and that she struggled to know what she could and could not do. He described her as being at a crossroads. As the memorandum notes it appears that S has his own dilemma concerning whether he should attend the concert. ...

The episode about the concert at the Baptist Church is not an isolated incident. Both the children have performed very well at soccer. At my most recent interview, S proudly displayed the award he had received at the soccer prize giving. However the soccer prize giving in the last two years has been held at the local Baptist Church. Consequently the respondent has not attended.

Still further incidents were traversed in the course of the updating evidence. Needless to say the parties had significantly different perspectives on those issues. I have drawn attention to these particular examples because, although they might seem trivial in the eyes of some adults, they serve to illustrate the uncomfortable state of tension referred to by Mr Higgs.

The children engage with that tension on a daily basis, for example in the decision-making process which they appear to undertake about what television programmes are suitable to be viewed. Such decisions do not concern the Censor's classification, but rather whether Jehovah would approve of the programme. Hence, Harry Potter would not be acceptable because of the wizardry context. Such decisions are being made by the children at their father's home. The respondent does not currently have a television. ...

The judgment notes in some detail the intensity of the children's engagement with the Jehovah's Witness faith. That intensity has not diminished in the period since the judgment. Indeed D is very firm in her desire to have the weekly contact with her mother changed from Wednesday to Tuesday in order that she could be included in the Bible study group preparing for worship on the weekend. The intensity of D's commitment is reflected in the following extract from the updated memorandum:

h. I asked [D] what would be the most important thing for her if she had one wish (and only one). She took some time to think about that and said "[T]hat dad would be in the Truth" (meaning, following Jehovah). But she also said that she really needed 2 wishes to make her life happiest. The second wish was that "I can learn about Jehovah with no stopping". Her explanation for that was that she wanted to learn about Jehovah EVERY day, not just mum's days.

Similarly in the case of S, when Ms Jones put to Mr Higgs that S had indicated that the balance of time with his parents under the current order was not quite right for him, and that he would prefer more time with his mother, Mr Higgs responded that according to his recollection, S was saying that he wanted more time to study Jehovah which, he said, was not quite the same thing.

The Judge noted that D had to some degree attempted to resolve the conflict between her parents by attempting to persuade her father to become a member of the Jehovah's Witness faith. On a comparative scale the appellant described D's current level of endeavour to recruit him as "about 150%". He also explained that, whereas previously he had tended not to get involved with discussions, he has more recently actively tried to be involved but without success. The view which D conveys to him is that D is "in the light" because her mother is in the light while the appellant is "in the dark".

Ms Brown's updated memorandum concluded as follows: However, to be clear; the children both are very adamant about participating in their worship of Jehovah, attending the Hall, studying the bible, and attending other study groups. When I put it to the children how would they feel if the Judge decided that they were not allowed to worship Jehovah by doing those things, they were very clear. [S] said he would be "angry". [D] said she would be "very sad". I asked them to explain why they would feel that way. [S] said "it would feel like I was being put in a jail". [D] said "I would not be free, and it would be like in a jail". While I share Judge Geoghegan's view that the children's wishes in relation to religion have been heavily influenced by the respondent, their views are genuinely held and are not to be dismissed. ...

In my view the evidence, including in particular the further evidence available to me on appeal, supports the conclusion that it is in the children's best interests that they are in the day to day care of their father. Judge Geoghegan reached that conclusion (in his words) by way of a fine margin. My view, which has been reached with the benefit of Mr Higgs' perception that the children have settled reasonably well into their father's home, is more conclusive that the children's interests are best served by being in the day to day care of their father.

It is essential however that the children should have an appropriate period of time with their mother. The key issue so far as the parenting orders are concerned ... is the proportion of time to be spent in each parent's care. A significant consideration in determining that proportion of time is the overall balance which can reasonably be attained in these children's lives.

It is quite apparent that the appellant has significant antipathy towards the Jehovah's Witness faith. However it is also necessary to recognise that the appellant is a teacher who, as the Judge noted, places considerable emphasis on the importance of education. He has a concern, which the Judge accepted as valid, that because of the tendency of members of the Jehovah's Witness faith not to avail themselves of tertiary education, that this will hinder the children's educational progress. ...

... D was tending to become more socially isolated. Both parents had agreed that she presented as less of a bubbly personality than previously. The Judge further noted Mr Higgs' opinion that in terms of her personality D may fall within a small percentage of persons who may find difficulty relating to other people. Possible restrictions on social contact through belonging to a faith such as the Jehovah's Witness faith, which places restrictions on social contact, was described by Mr Higgs as a "double whammy".

While, for whatever reason, the appellant would be pleased to see the children spend less time in Jehovah's Witness activities, it is my perception that the variation which is sought to the parenting order is, at least in material part, influenced by a desire to achieve a greater degree of balance in the children's activities.

When it was put to him by Ms Brown that from the children's perspective Jehovah forms a big part of their lives he said:

A. Yes, you're right and that's what I'm trying to address I think here is the fact that there is so much of their life with Mum around Jehovah and I believe it's at the expense of quality things in other areas and I'm trying to get a balance. I believe the balance is what's missing in all this and I don't know how to get it back. That's why I guess I'm here. ...

When asked whether he thought that getting a Court order in the nature of the guardianship directions sought was going to stop the children believing in Jehovah immediately he responded:

A. Well not, not immediately but I'm hopeful that what we'll do is that it will give them a chance to grow. It will give them a chance to finish off exercises that they started e.g. we might get out to some Cub camps for example, we might be able to get out on some music lessons for [D], we might be able to get a bit of balance back in their life. They might be able to get some perspective. We'll buy some time in terms of getting them some mental maturity so that they can see the consequences of the decision that's being forced upon them and not necessarily made by themselves. In his updating affidavit he had made the point ... that the children had missed all four Cubs camps as a consequence of their being with the respondent on the camp weekends.

The appellant's proposal found a degree of support in the submissions of Ms Brown. As she put it: I think that there is not enough balance [in] the children's social time with their father because of the length of time of weekends that they are in Mum's care excluding them from non-Jehovah friends and from other sports and attending birthday parties with friends from school and things like that.

I think that does negatively impact on them arguably. I would potentially see there being some merit in shuffling around some of those weekends so Dad has more social time and they have more time to do things like Cub camps. Birthday parties with friends from school is important and they, most of those do take place on the weekend because they're just a huge sugar fest and no one wants to do that on a school night so they do miss that socialisation factor and I think the Cubs thing is important.

Mr Higgs also favoured more balance in the allocation of weekend contact although, as discussed below in the context of guardianship directions, presumably reflecting his "double whammy" analysis, his focus was more on the dilution of the children's exposure to the intensity of the Jehovah's Witness faith. ...

Consequently I consider it necessary to make a guardianship direction ... that the children should not attend Jehovah's Witness meetings or church activities including seminars or witnessing. I recognise that such a direction is at odds with the children's express wishes. Nevertheless the evidence persuades me that their welfare and best interests require that there should be a dilution in the intensity of their exposure to their mother's faith.

However I do not consider that it is appropriate to make an order ... which would preclude the respondent engaging with the children about the Jehovah's Witness faith. The children have the right to be exposed to her religious beliefs. Their views, albeit heavily influenced by their mother, but nevertheless genuinely held, align with a guardianship direction that they should be able to engage with her in the study of her faith. Consequently there will be a further guardianship direction that affirmatively states that the children can engage in bible study, watch videos, and read passages from the Watchtower, while with their mother on her own in her home. ...

If during any period while the children are in their mother's care she chooses to attend at the Kingdom Hall, participate in witnessing, or engage in any other activity of the Jehovah's Witness faith, she is to first return, or to arrange for the return of, the children to their father, and the children will then remain in his care until the next scheduled period of the respondent's care.

(a) The children can be involved with and exposed to the Jehovah's Witness faith with their mother (while on her own with the children) at her home. For the avoidance of doubt such exposure may include bible study, watching videos, and the reading of passages from the Watchtower; and

(b) The children shall not attend Jehovah's Witness meetings or church activities (including at the Kingdom Hall). Nor shall they participate in seminars (including conventions) or witnessing.

(c) That the children not be excluded from any school or extracurricular activities on the basis of religion, to include the Cool Bananas religious programme in school, school productions, school camps, sports, and any other extracurricular activities; and

(d) That the children be permitted to attend birthday, Easter and Christmas celebrations whilst in the appellant's care. ...