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DEAR ABBY: When I was 17, I became involved with a so-called "religion" that at the time placed restrictions on me which helped me refrain from sex, drugs, cigarettes, etc. The people claimed to love each other, and I gained many friends.
At first, it did not matter that my "religion" did not allow such things as blood transfusions, saluting the American flag, voting, and getting involved in politics. I read their publications, attended five meetings each week, and knocked on doors to spread the word.
The illusion lasted several years. As I got older, I began to look into the organization's history and learned many things that distressed me. I got to the point that I no longer believed in that faith.
I thought I could just simply stop going to meetings. But when I voted in the primary election last spring, my husband told the elders and they "disfellowshipped" me, formally kicking me out of the congregation. I am now considered "dead", and no one of that faith is permitted to speak to me for the rest of my life.
I have paid a dear price for my spiritual freedom -- my husband is divorcing me, my family members of that faith refuse to speak to me, and I have lost 13 years worth of "friends."
Abby, please advise your readers to closely examine all the teachings of these door-knockers before joining. Otherwise, they may lose their families like I lost mine. FINALLY FREE IN N.C.
Over the years, the source book's author, who is a former Jehovah's Witness Elder, had received a steady stream of communication from persons who had a spouse, relative, or friend who had recently joined the Watchtower Cult. Invariably those communications expressed dismay at the loved one's involvement with the WatchTower Cult -- coupled with a sense of extreme frustration after their repeated failed attempts to persuade their loved one to quit the cult. In the case of married couples, what often had happened was this:
The first hint that the husband had received that his life was in the process of being turned upside down was when his wife casually told him that she had accepted a "free home Bible study" with two nice ladies who were going to come to the couple's home every Tuesday afternoon while the husband was at work and the children were at school. Many oblivious husbands answered their naive wife with a casual "That's nice, dear." Other slightly more thoughtful husbands probably responded, "Fine, dear, so long as I don't have to get involved!"
It may have taken only three or four of those weekly "free home Bible studies" before the naive husband suffered a major "reality check" when his wife informed him that the "two nice ladies" coming to their home every week are "Jehovah's Witnesses", and that wife has decided that "she and the kids" are going to start attending "meetings" at the local Kingdom Hall every Wednesday evening and Sunday morning.
Shortly thereafter, when the next holiday rolled around, or when one of their children's or grandchildren's birthday approached, the wife informed her husband that she no longer will celebrate "any" of the holidays, nor "anybody's" birthday, and therefore she will no longer plan, participate in, nor even attend traditional family gatherings at Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, etc. Henceforth, the husband will have to do his own shopping for gifts, and "someone else" will have to plan and prepare the events and meals.
Only a couple weeks later, the wife inexplicably stopped attending the children's (or grandchildren's) soccer, softball, baseball, football, or basketball games -- assuming that the wife had not already insisted that their children or grandchildren STOP participating in these WatchTower Cult prohibited extracurricular activities.
When the husband finally succeeded in getting his wife to accompany him to one of the "kid's tournament games", he and "the kids" unexpectedly suffered one of the most humiliating incidents of their lives when their wife/mother/grandmother refused to stand up for the playing of the National Anthem. That pretty much ended the family's frequent attendance at the various sporting and entertainment events held at the local racetrack, county fair arena, and convention center.
Just as humiliating was the first time that one of husband's coworkers asked him during their lunchbreak in the crowded employer's breakroom whether that was husband's wife who had knocked at the patriotic veteran coworker's frontdoor last Saturday morning, and offered the coworker's own wife free copies of the WatchTower Cult's WATCHTOWER and AWAKE! magazines, which teach that it is a SIN to Vote, hold public office, or serve in the military, because the local, state, and federal governments of the United States, as well as their military and national guard, are ALL secret TOOLS of Satan the Devil.
While repeatedly being humiliated in public was bad enough, the possibility of even more similar incidents in the future could not compare to the "life or death" bombshell next dropped on husband by the wife. Even the wife dreaded and delayed telling her husband about this WatchTower Cult belief and practice. Jehovah's Witnesses are forbidden by the WatchTower Cult from consenting to needed life-saving blood transfusions. Neither are Jehovah's Witnesses permitted to consent to blood transfusions needed by family members who are not even JWs. That included husband and the couple's children -- even if the husband was unconscious, or otherwise incapacitated.
Many a husband's previous disinterested toleration then gives way to opposition. He calls the Jehovah's Witnesses everything from "religious nuts" to "anarchists". However, by then, the "two nice ladies" have already coached the wife on how to answer her husband's inevitable objections with arguments that he will be unable to refute. The extremely frustrated husband knows that the Watchtower Cult is "bad", but lacks the proper ammunition to prove it. The ignorant husband finds himself resorting to shouting and cursing. He feels himself ready to explode as he watches his wife progressively become more and more wrapped up with the cult's beliefs and practices -- impervious to his attempts to dissuade her.
Perhaps the most frequent expression heard from husbands caught in such a predicament is: "I love my wife deeply, but she has become a totally different person, and she is gradually building a wall between herself and me." At this point, a crossroads is reached. Feeling defeated and not wanting to lose touch with his wife, the loving husband may even decide to accompany his wife to a few Kingdom Hall meetings, where one of the "nice" congregation Elders will soon offer to come to the husband's home on a free evening and "study the Bible" with him. If the husband declines his own "personal Bible study", another Elder may offer to bring his wife along so that both couples can "study the Bible" together.
Or, at the other end of the spectrum, an extremely frustrated husband may become so upset that he separates from his wife and files for a divorce and sole custody of his children, who are quickly becoming as indoctrinated as is his wife. Many husbands take one of these two opposite courses. In between, however, there are many other husbands who simply attempt to ride out the storm. They attempt to stop talking about "religion" with their wife to avoid the inevitable nasty confrontations, and they try to maintain some semblance of family life in spite of the wife's (and children's) heavy schedule of meeting attendance and door-to-door literature distribution. The marriage stays together, but the wife's new religious beliefs and practices remain a constant source of irritation and tension.
Although it usually is the wife who is found at home, alone, and is therefore contacted by the "two nice ladies" calling from house-to-house, sometimes it is the husband who is drawn into the Watchtower Cult, perhaps through a coworker or a business associate. When this happens, the effect on the marriage and homelife is just as disastrous, if not more so. Similar estrangement occurs when the person joining the WatchTower Cult is a son or daughter, a parent or grandparent, a brother or sister, or even a close friend. The new Jehovah's Witness almost always loses interest in their old relationships -- thereafter maintaining occasional contact only insofar as such affords opportunities for them to present Watchtower Cult teachings to their old friend or relative. If/when that "potential cult recruit" closes the door to the JW's future recruitment efforts, the relationship will likely end altogether.
Don't Delay! Act Today!
The mistake most commonly made in attempting to rescue a recently entrapped loved one from the clutches of the WatchTower Cult is the failure to act soon enough. If you become aware of your loved one's entrapment early in its infancy, attempt a delaying strategy. One counselor recommends that you do something -- almost anything -- in a kind, loving manner that will interrupt the "weekly Bible studies". You may need to inform the wife's friends, relatives, or minister about the current situation, and see if they are willing to interrupt the weekly "bible studies" by inviting the wife to visit their home during the time of the scheduled "home Bible study", or vice versa, going shopping together, going out to eat, etc.
If the husband is truly serious about rescuing his wife from the clutches of the WatchTower Cult, a couple weeks of interrupted "bible studies" should give him (and any enlisted helpers) sufficient time to research online the embarrassing history and false biblical doctrines of the WatchTower Cult, such that "rescuers" can present their research intelligently to the wife.
During this early stage in the game, most of the wife's motivation probably is "curiosity". Both the WatchTower Cult's beliefs and its practices are totally different from anything that the wife has previously encountered. As emphasized, it is at this early stage that it is EASIEST to debunk the WatchTower Cult by exposing its extremely embarrassing history of false predictions. Do so at once, without delay. Bear in mind that each week's "bible study" is designed to "prove" to your spouse the biblical validity of one of the WatchTower Cult's teachings and/or practices, AND to convince your spouse to accept such as "the truth". As each new Watchtower Cult doctrine is "proved" weekly to your spouse, and accepted as a valid Biblical teaching, yet another "obstacle" is added that will eventually have to be overcame sometime in the future. Additionally, the odds that this can be accomplished at all become slim and slimmer.
Some ministers or other "helpers" may want to refute the WatchTower Cult's biblical errors, but doing so falls into the WatchTower Cult's trap of "interpretation", in which noone's doctrinal interpretation can ever be proven right or wrong. Initial WatchTower Cult "home bible studies" are intentionally designed to discredit Christian churches, theologians, and doctrines. Noone should debate WatchTower Cult doctrine unless they understand such doctrine sufficiently that they can simplify it as follows:
Early on, your spouse will be taught that they must publicly address GOD as "Jehovah", and privately in prayer and meditation. Jesus is not "GOD", but rather was initially "created" as Michael the Archangel by "Jehovah"; thereafter "re-created" as a mere human on earth; and thereafter "re-created" yet again as an "empowered" Michael the Archangel back in heaven.
Early WatchTower Cult "home bible studies" teach that when the human body dies, no soul nor individual spirit survives to go to heaven or hell. The dead simply cease to exist. Death (non-existence) itself was the sole penalty paid for all committed sins. No further judgement nor punishment occurs. If a human had performed sufficient good works, God may choose to "re-create" a clone of him/her sometime in the future -- the WatchTower Cult's ridiculously inaccurate definition of "resurrection".
More importantly, your spouse is taught that the WatchTower Cult is the only "organization" on earth that "Jehovah" currently uses to teach "the truth" from the Bible. Whether or not your spouse fully or partially accepts some or all of these biblical heresies, they will reverberate in your spouse's mind for years to come. Even if you are successful in rescuing your spouse from the cult, they may never fully trust again Christian churches, and other "Christians". Every "weekly home bible study" adds yet another current obstacle and future problem. Extricating the WatchTower Cult's "recruit" gradually grows into a major project -- requiring intense effort, perhaps even assistance from trained personnel, and months or even years of patient endurance by their spouse, relatives, and former friends.
Rescuers should know that Jehovah's Witness recruiters will warn recruits in one of their first few "home Bible studies" that "Satan" will use some of their family members, close relatives, and close friends to attempt to defame the WatchTower Society, so as to turn the recruit against "Jehovah's Witnesses. As an example, one of the WatchTower Cult's previous study books contained the following "warning" on page 23:
"How might Satan even use friends and relatives to discourage us? You can be sure that Satan the Devil does not want you to have this knowledge, and that he will do all in his power to stop you from getting it. How will he do this? One way is by seeing to it that you receive opposition, perhaps in the form of ridicule. It may be that even close friends or relatives will tell you that they do not like your examining the Scriptures. Jesus Christ himself even warned: 'Indeed, a man's enemies will be persons of his own household.' But if you give up a study of God's Word when opposition comes, how will God view you?" --You Can Live Forever in Paradise on Earth, WatchTower Society, 1982.
If the "weekly home bible study" has already been in progress for two or more weeks, rescuers should assume that their loved one has already had this "warning" drilled into them. At this point, a harsh ultimatum that your spouse must stop meeting with the JWs could have disastrous results. JWs have 140 years of experience dealing with opposition, and simply will move the "study" to another "secret" location, at a different time.
Rescuers must bear in mind that inaccurate or undocumented accusations -- such as the often quoted but misinformed charges that JWs are communists; that JWs do not love their children; or that JWs refuse all medical treatment -- will do more harm than good. The JWs anxiously await inaccurate accusations which they are easily able to disprove. The JWs will then use that inaccuracy to persuade your spouse not to listen to any additional accusations. It is extremely important to have all your arguments correct and fully documented the first time around; otherwise, there probably will not be a second chance.
In any case, you should avoid attempting to debunk the Watchtower Cult when the JWs are present. Never forget that the WatchTower Cult has 140 years experience at this game. Doing so will only turn into a free-for-all debate, with the experienced and well-trained cult recruiter coming up with an answer, excuse, or denial for everything you say. And, unless you are thoroughly versed on the Watchtower Society, and experienced and well-trained as a debater, the JW recruiter will shoot you down on every point. He will be seen as the "winner", and your loved one will be further cemented into the cult. It is important to plan your strategy, collect convincing evidence, and present it in the proper manner at an appropriate time.
The presence of a Minister or other experienced, educated, and trained cult-debunker MIGHT be advantageous, but ONLY if the rescuer first meets with that professional and gets their agreement to spend much time and effort updating their knowledge of the WatchTower Cult. Busy ministers have a tendency to rely on what they were taught decades ago in seminary -- from outdated, often inaccurate, and often poorly researched information authored during the infancy of the internet, or prior to. Many a "confident", but unprepared minister has had his "lunch eaten" by a fully-prepared JW recruiter.
For those rescuers whose loved one has been "studying" for months, and even may be planning to be "baptized" into the WatchTower cult, DO NOT LOSE HOPE! All is not lost. During the recruitment period, WatchTower Cult recruits are "love-bombed" constantly. Recruits are told that they are special, and recruits are treated as special. "Doubts" are treated as inevitable. Scattered, occasional "field service" is welcomed wholeheartedly. Scattered, occasional "meeting attendance" receives much praise.
Once the recruit becomes a "baptized member", he/she typically enters a "honeymoon period" during which it becomes almost impossible to penetrate their thinking. They have just made a public commitment, and are surrounded by fellow Jehovah's Witnesses who repeatedly commend them for their decision, and continue to shower them with love and attention. At this stage, the best thing a spouse can do may simply be to keep open the lines of communication and to keep reaffirming their love and personal interest.
It may take a year or longer before the other JWs stop regarding the convert as a "new one" in need of special treatment. Jehovah's Witnesses are expected to attend every meeting, and perform door-knocking every week. "Doubts" once handled rationally during the "weekly home bible study" are now considered anathema. "Doubts" expressed to anyone other than an "elder" may result in ostracism, or even "marking", "shunning", or even "disfellowshipping".
When the honeymoon is finally over and the new one comes to be regarded as just another member of the congregation, that is when disillusionment with the WatchTower Cult can start to set it. Depending on how perceptive the individual is, he/she will sooner or later begin to realize that there is a lot of playacting going on amongst the JWs, and that their fellow JWs and their families have a lot of hidden problems. When it finally hits home that there is no real love in the WatchTower Cult, a spouse's patiently keeping open lines of communication and confirming their love may start to bear fruit -- but this may be a long time in coming. The new cult member's loved ones may choose to wait patiently and keep close watch for the "honeymoon" period to end -- possibly eventually "hinted at" via stray comments made by their disillusioned loved one.
Once again, the main point to remember when a loved one first starts getting involved with Jehovah's Witnesses is to avoid delay. As in fighting an infectious disease that attacks the body, time is of the essence in combating the Watchtower Cult's invasion of the mind.
Adapted from: How To Rescue Your Loved One From The Watchtower, by David Reed.
The "DIVORCES - CHILD CUSTODY" section of this website contains summaries of over 200 Child Custody and other Divorce court cases involving Jehovah's Witnesses. The vast majority of the summarized cases are Appellate Court and even Supreme Court decisions. Viewers should bear in mind that these 200+ cases are not exhaustive of all such cases. These cases are merely those that I have been able to locate on the world wide web. I'm guessing that the actual number of such Jehovah's Witness family court cases probably range in the 1000s over the past decades. Thus, these cases should be considered as being merely "illustrative" of what has occurred in the past, and may occur in the future.
Generally, there is no such thing as a "national child custody law". Although similar, each state has established its own laws regarding child custody, and each state's courts interpret those laws using legal standards that may vary from those used by courts in other states. As site visitors will quickly see from reading the following summaries, state courts apply one of the following three different legal standards when deciding these cases:
1. Actual Or Substantial Harm: Existing actual or substantial harm to the child must be proven to have been caused by a parent's religious practices before the court will restrict that parent's constitutional rights. Such states include California, Colorado, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, Nebraska, New Jersey, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Rhode Island, Utah, Vermont and Washington.
2. Risk Of Harm. For a court to restrict a parent's constitutional rights, it only has to be proven that that a parent's religious practices pose a risk of harm to the child. Such states include Minnesota, Montana, North Carolina and Pennsylvania.
3. No Harm Required. In only a few states, such as Arkansas and Wisconsin, a parent who has sole legal custody also has the exclusive right to determine the child's religious education.
Child custody court case decisions typically are lengthy and complex, and deal with a multitude of legal issues. The following case summaries will generally include only those issues in which religion was a factor. Some summaries may omit issues relevant to the court's decision, but not relevant to the theme of this website.
This actually is an ongoing admonition that we have been making to our readers for years. Recently, we had the opportunity to speak with a member of a three-judge appellate panel which unanimously ruled for the JW litigant in a child custody case. Judge indicated that the panel was appalled at how poorly the Non-JW litigant had been represented by their "Former JW" legal team both at trial and before this appellate panel. Judge speculated that Non-JW probably would have won at trial only if a "competent" local child custody attorney had been hired. In 2023, any "competent" attorney knows how and where to get help on the JW-specific legal issues. An amicable, competent attorney may initially receive your advice regards "JW Expert" legal support sources, but if after that they inquire about more than the specifics to your case, then you may have hired a "loser". Its okay for YOU to assist your attorney with the JW issues, but some of the out-of-state attorneys and expert witnesses holding themselves out as "JW Legal Experts" are experts only at losing cases during the 2000s. Beware of online XJW referrers who are only interested in receiving a portion of the attorney fee for their referral.
The Vancouver Sun
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
By Douglas Todd, Sun Religion Reporter
December 13, 1989
[Jehovah's Witness] Dad Loses Custody of Children
The ex-husband in a custody trial does not have the right to teach his [three daughters] the Jehovah's Witness faith, B.C. Supreme Court Justice Patricia Proudfoot ruled Tuesday.
The judge, who called the ex-husband's lengthy court battle against his wife "oppressive", said her sole interest was protecting the welfare of the three children of Irene Young, a United Church adherent who is now on welfare, and James Chen Young, a real estate salesman who converted to the [Jehovah's] Witnesses in 1985.
Giving sole custody and the matrimonial home to the mother, the judge pointed to testimony which showed the [three] girls did not want to be involved in their father's religion and said, "the religious conflict was causing a problem."
In a rare move, Justice Proudfoot also ruled that a Burnaby [Congregation] of the Jehovah's Witnesses, as well as the husband, and his Jehovah's Witness lawyer [W. Glen How], must pay as much as $70,000 toward solicitor-client costs of the 12-day trial.
"It is easy to conclude that this case was litigated to death. Counsel for (the husband) had a forum and a cause to pursue," Justice Proudfoot wrote in her 44-page judgment.
"Unfortunately, what was in the best interests of the children, their welfare, was totally lost by the (father) and his counsel in these protracted proceedings." Three lawyers, headed by Ontario Jehovah's Witness [W.] Glen How, represented James Chen Young.
"This case clearly exemplified the difficulty where one side has unlimited resources, of creating for the other side pure and simple financial, economic oppression," the judge said.
"Counsel for the (husband) produced volumes of material, binder upon binder. The great majority of this material was totally irrelevant and often repetitious."
During the trial, which began in September, [W. Glen] How asked Justice Proudfoot to withdraw from the case because of alleged bias against [Jehovah's] Witnesses.
Calling the B.C. court system "discriminatory," [W. Glen] How also accused a county court judge of acting like Adolf Hitler.
MOLLY COTE v. KENNETH COTE was a 2012-2016 New Hampshire divorce/custody case. Limited/incomplete details. Kenneth Cote was a Jehovah's Witness, while Molly Fulton was not.
In November 2013, the trial court awarded Molly Esther Fulton sole decision-making responsibility for the divorced couple's son. Possibly indicating that Kenneth Cote was following the WatchTower Cult's legal strategy of overwhelming its legal opponents with numerous financially-burdening legal filings, the trial court prohibited the parties from requesting a further hearing on parenting rights or child support for a period of nine months except for "significant good cause shown".
Despite that court order, in April 2014, Kenneth Cote moved for an emergency hearing seeking additional parenting time while his parents were visiting from Arizona. Kenneth Cote also sought an order requiring Molly Fulton to allow their son to use a cell phone while in her custody. Kenneth Cote also asked the court to consider a change in primary residential responsibility.
Molly Cote objected to Kenneth Cote's motions, and filed a cross-motion for contempt, asserting that Kenneth Cote had violated the trial court's 2013 order awarding the mother sole decision-making responsibility for the child, by training the child in the Jehovah Witness faith -- contrary to the mother's wishes. Molly Cote also asserted that Kenneth Cote was in contempt of the provision in the order prohibiting the parties from requesting a further hearing on parenting rights or child support for a period of nine months except for "significant good cause shown".
Kenneth Cote agreed to continue the hearing on his motion until August 2014, which rendered moot his request for additional parenting time. After the hearing, the court: (1) denied Kenneth Cote's request that the child be allowed to use a cell phone while he was with the mother; (2) denied the mother's request to find the father in contempt for training the child in the Jehovah Witness faith; and (3) denied Kenneth Cote's request to modify the parenting plan. Nevertheless, the court concluded: "There is clear evidence before the court that [Kenneth Cote] has willfully attempted to circumvent court orders and [Kenneth Cote] has expressed that he will continue to do so." The court found Kenneth Cote to be in contempt and awarded the mother her costs and attorney's fees.
Expectedly, Jehovah's Witness Minister Kenneth Cote appealed that adverse decision to the Supreme Court of New Hampshire, which remanded the case back to the trial court for further determinations regarding Kenneth Cote's contempt of court, as well as the "basis upon which to determine the amount of attorney's fees incurred by the mother as a result of the father's contumacious conduct."
GENUINE JW OBITUARY
JOAN CAROL BROMLEY. We have lost one of our most precious and valued members of the Jehovah's Witnesses when Joan Carol Bromley passed away May 29, 2020 ... Born Joan Carol Charters in Detroit, Michigan, on January 29, 1934; Her father, Melvin Charters, was one of "The Anointed" of the Jehovah's Witnesses and faithful to the end. Joan married Thomas Frederick Bromley in Detroit, Michigan on July 1, 1950, also a Jehovah's Witness. Both of them followed the Jehovah's Witness religion with much energy, zeal, and faith, and waivered not in their faith. Joan played the piano at the Jehovah's Witnesses meetings for many years. She was loved and respected by all Jehovah's Witnesses, especially the men. Considered Jehovah's Witness Royalty by most in the congregations. She was celebrated for her long suffering and social talents, both in the Kingdom Halls and on the streets of Vegas. Joan spent so much of her life promoting the Jehovah's Witness religion, that there might be talk of erecting a memorial in her honor. Look for more info on this matter in the future. Joan is survived by 3 of her 5 children, countless grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren, also 1 of 5 sisters. None of them are Jehovah's Witnesses. In honor of the Jehovah's Witnesses and their faithful servant, Joan Bromley, please read Deuteronomy 18:20-22. R.I.P.
CHILD CUSTODY -- BEAT JW PARENT AT THEIR OWN "RELIGIOUS" GAME
Non-JW Parents -- typically "fathers" -- should take the initiative starting the very day that "separation" occurs. Obtain legal representation ASAP. Next, immediately renew any previous affiliation with a local church, or establish such if such did not exist previously -- regardless of how such fits with your current life philosophy. If available, obtain the assistance of local family and relatives. Discovering the religious affiliations of the local family court judges might help in the selection of a church. Ask your new attorney. If they don't already know, or they are not anxious to assist you in this part of the battle, then maybe you need to hire a more cooperative and more insightful attorney. Discuss your situation with prospective churches' Pastors -- particularly the willingness of their staff and members to go out of their way to make certain that your children thoroughly enjoy themselves every time your children are in attendance. Thoroughly inquire as to the quantity and quality of that church's programs for its children and single parents. The more the better. Ask for SPECIFICS -- don't allow a BSer to blow smoke up your rearend. Establish a presence at the church -- particularly with the children if there is access prior to trial. Your own newfound faith should not be a negative during trial given that your wife's JW faith is probably also newfound in these situations. Go to trial with a religious stick that is every bit as big as your wife's religious stick. Even if there is no chance at receiving primary custody, fight for the right to take your children to church at special times during the year -- holidays, birthdays, etc. Force the JW Parent to fight against holiday and birthday celebrations right in the courtroom. Force the JW Parent to fight for the right to drag children door-to-door right there in the courtroom. Never underestimate the power of birthday and holiday celebrations with your children -- WHEREVER and WHENEVER the children are exposed to such. It is not a battle of quantity. It is a battle of quality. Different children will respond in their own different times. NEVER FORGET. Children grow to HATE attending Kingdom Hall Meetings and going out in Field Service -- regardless of what they presently parrot. Always remember that 2/3s of children reared by JW Parents eventually come to HATE life inside the WatchTower Cult. Beat the JW Parent at their own religious game. Never give up. Your children will gradually grow to appreciate your efforts -- some sooner, some later. In all dealings, don't be an ASS. Beat your opponent with a smile on your face -- because you know that you are outwitting them.
2022 UPDATE: SEE 2022 ECHR T.C. v. ITALY child custody battle for confirmation of our decade-old advice above. "Divorced" Parents initially had agreed that their Daughter would be reared within the Catholic Church, but involving only "bare minimum" required church activities, such that their Daughter would fit in with her Catholic schoolmates, relatives, etc. However, between Daughter's age of 3 and 5, the Father joined the WatchTower Cult, and gradually began taking her to KH "meetings" and out in "field service" during Father's liberal number of weekly visitation days. JW Father convinced young Daughter to keep SECRET such KH activities from her Mother. The ruse began to unravel when the daughter was around 7 years-old, after JW Father married a fellow JW with her own child, and with their own child quickly following the marriage. Probably at the insistence of the new step-mother, Daughter was STOPPED from attending her friends and classmates birthday parties; STOPPED from attending holiday celebrations and parties; and STOPPED from continuing her ballet classes. Daughter soon told her Mother everything going on during her weekly visits with Father regarding WatchTower Cult activities and practices. The Italian Courts eventually decided against JW Father. In this case, the Mother had followed much of our advice only by pure chance. Don't follow her example. AGGRESSIVELY involve your child in all available religious activities as early as possible.
For those readers who are not looking for any specific DIVORCE case, but who are simply browsing our website for general education regarding Jehovah's Witness Marriages and Divorces, we have posted THREE JW WIFE AUTOBIOGRAPHIES which were submitted by real-world victimized husbands, which relate REAL WATCHTOWER WORLD behind-the-scenes accounts of three Jehovah's Witness marriages about which the WatchTower Society hopes that no insiders nor outsiders ever learn. These three autobiographies are so controversial that most JW readers will deny their authenticity. All three autobiographies are authentic. We have confirmed that.
BOTH the first and the second submitted autobiographies pertain to single Jehovah's Witnesses looking for marriage mates at District Conventions, Circuit events, and via the internet. Things are not always as they appear in "JW World". JWs are marrying other JWs who live hundreds and even thousands of miles away, and often one or both parties eventually learn that they have married a stranger, or worse. Naive Jehovah's Witnesses are marrying JWs from other JW families who have serious ongoing problems which were hidden from them during the courtship. Bankrupt JW in-laws. Criminal JW in-laws. Incestuous JW in-laws. JWs with serious mental health and physical health problems are not fully disclosing their personal "baggage" to prospective marriage mates. In the following two autobiographies, both JW Husbands believe that they were deceived during the courtship period by their future JW Wife, by her JW Parents, by her Congregation Elders, and by other Members of JW Wife's congregation. CLICK ON LINK TO READ:
MY TEENAGE JEHOVAH'S WITNESS WIFE:
EXEMPLARY CONGREGATION PUBLISHER & SERIAL ADULTERESS
MY TEENAGE VIRGIN JEHOVAH'S WITNESS BRIDE
CARRIED ON HER OWN SECRET SEX LIFE BEFORE & AFTER WE MARRIED
The third submitted autobiography relates the account of a recently married non-JW Wife who converted to the Jehovah's Witnesses and soon thereafter disowned her loving and trusting Husband. JW Wife then began using her busy JW witnessing and meeting schedule and her morally-corrupt JW friends to hide serial "cheating", and eventually something so SHOCKING that you will have to read the autobiography to believe it. Readers are put on notice that this account contains some sexually explicit material which we have attempted to edit as best as we could and still retain the info and image that the victimized husband wants readers to take away from his unbelievable REAL JW WORLD marriage. CLICK ON LINK TO READ:
MY BUSY-BUSY JEHOVAH'S WITNESS WIFE:
REGULAR AUXILIARY PIONEER & PARTTIME BROTHEL PROSTITUTE
Visitors may also be interested in reading the "Real WatchTower World" account posted in our JW EMPLOYEES website about a JW Elderette who put on a "burlesque show" at her home during a business appointment with a lone out-of-town businessman. Foolish JW Elderette never even considered that the out-of-town businessman might possibly have JW connections. Two other very revealing "Real WatchTower World" accounts about two JW Females with overactive sexual libidoes follows.
16 YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER OF JW ELDER
HITS ON RECENTLY MARRIED JW MALE AT CIRCUIT GET-TOGETHER
My wife and I (both reared as JWs) were also married within weeks after graduating from High School. We both were still "children". I did not even turn 18 until later that Fall. Around the time we married, there was a realignment in the "circuits", and a "get-together" was organized for our new circuit to allow elders, ministerial servants, and their families to become better acquainted with those elders, ministerial servants, and their families, with whom they were not familiar.
My wife and I attended only because a local Elderette mistakingly thought anyone in the circuit could be invited -- not just the "Clergy Class" -- and she invited us. The "circuit get-together" was hosted by a congregation about 90 minutes drive from our own congregation -- at a city park, where the pavilion and playground had been reserved.
The get-together, which was surprisingly attended by less than 100 JW adults and children, opened with typical "theocratic" fanfare followed by people introducing themselves by announcing their name and congregation. My wife and I introduced ourselves as "newlyweds" of 3 months. Noone in that small crowd could possibly have not known that I was just recently married given the introductions, plus the fact that my wife and I were still being "clingy".
At some point, all the young people wanted to play basketball at the park's larger college regulation size outdoor court. Because only elders, ministerial servants, their wives, and their children had been invited, my wife and I had to chose whether to stay with the crowd of adults, or go play basketball. Being a 17 year-old male, I chose to play basketball, while my 18 year-old wife remained to socialized with the "Ettes", and the children too young to play.
There was one basketball and about 20 "players" of both sexes ranging in age from 10 to my 17. Trying to be a good JW "leader", I attempted to divide the "pack" of 20 into two teams of 10 -- of equal lack of ability. Although I was technically a player on one team, I spent all of my time "refereeing" and trying to get "possession" of the ball to those unable to get it themselves, so that everyone on both teams would have the opportunity to "dribble" and "shoot". It was like trying to "herd" cockroaches, and I spent most of my time laughing so hard that my stomach hurt. Thankfully, a few skinned knees and a few scattered bruises were the most serious injuries.
At some point, I picked up on the fact that the oldest female on the court -- the 16 year-old daughter of an Elder, whom I had never seen nor met before -- kept "making eyes" at me. She and her 12-13 year-old sister ran around acting "too prissy to play", and screaming and yelling every time the ball came near them.
I had not yet taken a shot, when I somehow got the ball at half-court with noone but the aforementioned two sisters between me and my team's basket. The 17 year-old in me decided to take what I thought would be a quick wide-open layup, when "12-13 year-old sister" surprisingly ran over to "take the charge". Judging her courage to be "fake", I continued my drive to the basket, and sure enough, at the last moment, she turned and ran away screaming.
As I threw the ball back down the court where everyone else had remained, 16 year-old Elder's Daughter taunted younger sister, and asked her why she had ran away from me. Younger sister replied, "I didn't want that big thing on top of me."
As I ran past 16 year-old JW Elder's Daughter she looked me straight in the eye, and in a lowered voice only the two of us would hear, she said: "I wouldn't mind having him on top of me at all."
RECENTLY SEPARATED JW WIFE ADVERTISES HER AVAILABLE "ASSETS"
In Summer 2006, I was recently divorced from my longtime JW Wife, and although I was not disfellowshipped nor disassociated, I had not attended any Kingdom Hall meetings for several years. At the time, I lived three houses down from a JW Super-Elder whom I had known for decades. Over the decades, that JW Super-Elder and his JW Elderette Wife had been instigators in the breakup of multiple marriages -- always siding with the JW Wife, while assassinating the character of the husband, regardless of whether he was a JW or non-JW. Over the decades, that JW Super-Elder's home had also served as a "JW Safe House" for JW Wives from other areas who had fled from their husbands and were in "hiding" for any number of reasons.
At the time, I was working from home, so I also had developed a daily exercise routine of "walking" four or five times per day -- starting at daybreak and ending at bedtime. My regular "walking" route took me past JW Super-Elder's home twice each trip -- going and coming. One day, I noticed that an unfamiliar automobile with out-of-county license plates had spent several days parked in JW Super-Elder's driveway. A couple days later, I observed an unknown attractive brunette in her mid-20s milling about outside of the home. Interestingly, as the days progressed, attractive JWBrunette repeatedly appeared outside the home, alone, as I returned from one of my walks. I also soon noticed that JWBrunette was unmistakingly "making eyes" at me on these occasions. Given that I was more than two decades older than JW Brunette, I was flattered -- but more amused under the circumstances -- by her quick attention. It quickly dawned on me who was the party most likely to be responsible for the problems in JW Brunette's marriage given that no sooner than she was out of her husband's sight she had started displaying "interest" to a total stranger. It also occurred to me that JWBrunette's husband was probably undergoing a thorough "character assassination" from the local JW Elders back in JWBrunette's home congregation, while JWBrunette was automatically given the role of the "Victim".
A few days later, at daybreak, as I was returning from my first walk of that day, as I approached JW Super-Elder's home, I observed JWBrunette outside, in the driveway, dressed only in a lightweight nightgown, acting as if she was trying to locate something in her 4-door automobile. Both rear car doors were open, and on the uphill grade with the rising sun to my back, I could plainly see JWBrunette on the opposite side of the car eyeballing me intensely from inside of the car as I approached rather than actually looking for anything in her car. However, I wasn't sure whether JWBrunette was eyeballing me so intensely because she did or she did not want me to see her in her nightgown. However, she soon cleared up my uncertainty. When I was about 100 feet from her car, without making eye contact or otherwise acknowledging my presence in any way whatsoever, JW Brunette came around her car, bent over to reach into the backseat, while pulling her nightgown up onto her back so as to display all her "assets" for my perusal. If there were any lingering doubts that JWBrunette had planned and calculated this early morning encounter, JW Brunette removed such as I observed her staring backwards out of the car at me the entire time that I walked past -- with a huge ... smile!!!
SHORT BIBLE TOPIC READINGS SELECTED FOR JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
Wifely Subjection: Mental Health Issues in Jehovah's Witness Women
Blood Transfusions: A History and Evaluation of the Religious, Biblical, and Medical Objections (Jehovah's Witnesses perspective)
Blood, Medicine, and the Jehovah's Witnesses: The Hidden History of the Watchtower's Position on the Blood Issue
Jehovah's Witnesses and the Problem of Mental Illness
DEALING WITH JEHOVAH'S WITNESS CUSTODY CASES
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