Submitted in 2019 by now 44 year-old JWMaleVictim. (Edited)
The time was Summer 1997. Unhappily married JWMaleVictim (JWMV) had just turned 21 years-old, and his life was not going anything like he had hoped. In Summer 1994, then 18 year-old JWMV had married an 18 year-old, second generation JW female who many in his circuit then believed was one of the most "theocratic" teenagers in the circuit. However, JWMV 's future bride was from a different congregation located at the other end of the circuit, so the couple knew practically nothing about each before they began "courting" in Summer 1993, and due to strictly obeying WatchTower courtship rules, they barely knew much more about each other before they promised to honor and love each other for all eternity.
JWMV and his bride rushed into marriage in order to beat the October 1994 "deadline", which some Jehovah's Witnesses then hoped would be the start of the long awaited "millennium". Back during the early 1990s, there had been "cautious expectation" that Armageddon would occur in October 1994 given the failure of the previous "1975" failed prophecy, and the failure of the far less expected "1984". After all, 1984 had been the end of the shorter "70 years generation period" after 1914, while the upcoming 1994 would be the end of the longer "80 years generation period" after 1914. Both pair of JW Parents and other JW relatives had lived through "1975". One of the many speculations which the WatchTower Society made concerning "1975" was that unmarried JWs who survived Armageddon would not be permitted to marry until after the end of the millennium. There also were speculations about if and which Armageddon survivors would be permitted to have children during the millennium given the large number of people, including babies, infants, etc., being resurrected.
BUT ..., back to 1997.
One summer afternoon, about an hour before quitting time, 21 year-old JWMV received a telephone call at work from his JW Mother. JWMom told JWVM to stop by his parent's home and talk to his Dad and her before going home that day. JWMom's negative tone was unmistakable, and when asked, she refused to discuss anything over the phone. JWMV was not that surprised. JWMV figured that it probably was just one more complaint in the endless stream of other complaints that day, week, month, and year from his constantly nagging, "auxillary pioneering" JW Wife.
When JWMV dragged himself through the rear kitchen door at his JWParent's home, both his Dad and Mom were waiting with grim looks on their faces. Before JWMV could even greet them, JWMom shouted, "We finally have caught your sorry ass!" It was so over the top that the tired JWMV did not even feel afraid, angry, or any other emotion. Speaking in an intentionally lowered voice, JWMV asked, "Whaaaaaaat are youuuuuu talking about?"
Readers should understand that only-child JWMV and his JWParents had a disfunctional relationship which especially kicked in during his early teen years. JWMV was far more intelligent than both JWParents, particularly JWMom, plus JWMV enjoyed a thirst for additional knowledge, a trait not shared with JWParents. JWMV admits that he had not been the perfect JW child during his teen years, but neither was he the devil that his JWParents seemed almost pleased to always be trying to uncover. During his teen years, JWParents constantly accused JWMV of semi-serious and serious "sins" that JWMV not only had not done, but would NEVER have done. JWMV essentially was a "good" person, but strangers talking to his JWParents would never have known such. In reality, like most JW teens, JWMV had slipped around and done a few things that many JW teens secretly do, but NOT ONCE did his JWParents even get a smell of those things. However, one of "those things" would have to be revealed to JWParents by JWMV before he left his parent's home that evening.
JWMom related that earlier that afternoon, she had gone grocery shopping at her regular supermarket, which was located in a larger town about ten miles away. There, JWMom ran into a woman with whom she had worked several years previous. In the middle of the not-busy supermarket, the two women were catching up on their lives when a young woman/girl walked up to them, stopped, and listened in.
Former coworker explained to JWMom, "Violet, let me introduce you to my new daughter-in-law, Beth. Beth and my son, Larry, just got married last month. Beth is from "VerySmallTown". (About 40 miles away.) ... Beth, this is Violet Jackson. Violet lives in "SmallTown". We used to work together here in LargerTown about 12 years ago."
Beth immediately exclaimed, "Violet Jackson??? From SmallTown??? Are you JWMV's mother? Shocked by this worldly stranger who seemed to know so much about her, JWMom replied, "Yes I am. How do you know my son? In front of her new mother-in-law, Beth revealed, "Weeeellllll, I use to have a crush on JWMV when I was in the 8th grade, but I never had a chance with him with all the older girls who flocked around him." JWMom questioned, "Where did you get to know JWMV?" Beth: "JWMV use to hangout ALL THE TIME at the roller rink in VerySmallTown." (Readers should understand that "VerySmallTown" is about 40 minutes drive from "SmallTown" where lives JWMV and his JWParents.)
Without even giving JWMV a chance to respond to all that, JWMom and JWDAD proceeded to verbally assault JWMV for (1) driving to "VerySmallTown" -- evidently "all the time" -- when he was only 16/17 years-old, without telling them, much less without asking their permission, (2) hanging out with "worldly" girls and other strangers, and (3) doing whatever he had done to cause a then 13-14 year-old "worldly" girl to fall in "crush" with him. AND, when and how did JWMV have the time and money to do all those things???
JWMV tried to remain calm, because he KNEW that TRUTH was on his side, but JWMV was too young and stupid to understand that prisons are full of convicts who did everything BUT for what they later were convicted. JWMV didn't even immediately speak up when his JWParents stopped screaming at him. JWMV simply hesitated and savored the looks of satisfaction on their two smiling faces. Both JWParents were oozing with joy and satisfaction that they "finally had caught his sorry ass," as they had so eloquently began their condemnation of JWMV.
JWMV looked at his JWParents and softly stated, "I have NO IDEA how that girl knows me, because I have only been to VerySmallTown TWO TIMES IN MY LIFE. If you will recall, back in Spring 1992, before I even had a driver's license, three carloads of us drove over to VerySmallTown one Sunday afternoon to do door-to-door work to help work the assigned congregation's unworked territory. ... (In 1992, no JWs lived in or near VerySmallTown, which was about 20 miles from that county's Kingdom Hall.) ... While we were there, we teenagers were surprised to discover that such a "VerySmallTown" had a roller rink, which even SmallTown did not have. About a year later, in March 1993, after I had had my driver's license for awhile, and after I was allowed to drive out in field service, four of us older teenagers went skating at VerySmallTown's roller rink one Sunday afternoon, instead of going out in field service, as we pretended to do. Because of the drive time over there, we only were able to stay for about 90 minutes. There were only around two dozen locals at the roller rink while we were there that afternoon. I did talk for a short time with three or four local girls, and I did rollerskate holding hands with one of them two or three times. I had no further contact with any of those girls after that one trip, and I've never been back to that roller rink, or anywhere else in VerySmallTown. I certainly did not hang-out at that roller rink, or anywhere else in VerySmallTown "all the time". Exactly when in 1993 or 1994 did I have any free time and money to hangout "all the time" at a roller rink 40 minutes from here? As for "Beth" knowing my name and my mother's name, I can only assume that I told my name and where I lived to everyone I talked to at the roller rink that afternoon. However, I would not have had any reason whatsoever to tell them your name (pointing to JWMom), and even if I had, how or why would one of those girls have instantly recalled your name four years later, in 1997? That one even puzzles me.
JWMV could see in their eyes that both JWParents believed what he had told them for the most part, but JWMV also could see that they did not "want" to believe him -- just as described above. JWMV's JWParents had some evil part of them that took pleasure and received satisfaction in catching JWMV doing something wrong. For the next two hours, JWParents interrogated JWMV over and over asking pretty much the exact same questions. JWMV stuck to his story-- gaving the exact same "truthful" answers. Over the next 2-6 months, JWMV suffered through 3-4 similar interrogation sessions, while sticking to his story.
JWMV's "elder" father eventually realized that JWMV and his three accomplices must have LIED on their field service reports for March 1993, and threatened JWMV that he was going to disclose this to the BOE. JWMV told JWDad, "If you want me to explain to the BOE how you and Mom count your time every time you two go out in field service, and how you two taught me to count my time, then go ahead turn me in to the BOE. Let's see how that works out for Mom and you." Needless to say, JWDad's threat went unfulfilled.
JWDad also eventually threatened to reveal to the BOE that in March 1993 JWMV and the three other JW Teens had LIED and gone roller skating that Sunday afternoon while pretending to go out in field service. First, two of the three other JW Teens had married and moved out of the area, while the third was serving as a Bethelite at WatchTower Farm. Second, JWMV again called JWDad's bluff and told him to go ahead, because once JWMV started taking to the BOE, as far as JWMV was concerned, "everything" was open for discussion. Not to mention how unpopular that would make JWDad with the two Elder and one Servant families -- especially the haughty family of the Bethelite. Once again, JWDad's threat went unfulfilled.
Even to this Editor, this whole thing, regardless of what you believe actually happened, appears to be a "tempest in a teapot". However, inside the WatchTower Cult, there are no "tempests in a teapot". Every slight is seen as a serious offense. And, regardless of what they claim, Jehovah's Witnesses do not understand the concept of "forgive and forget". JWMV states that JWMom's brief conversation with "Beth" changed his already bad relationship with his JWParents into an even worse relationship. Thereafter, JWMV's parents called him a LIAR everytime he told them something that they weren't understanding fully. Thereafter, JWMV's parents took and advocated the side of anyone with whom JWMV had any kind of disagreement, whether they be JW or non-JW. Basically, JWMV's JWParents spent the remainder of their lives "out to get him".
In Fall 1998, JWMV's wife of 4+ years ran off with the married, older, non-jw coworker with whom she had been cheating for at least two years or more. JWMV is pleased to relate that that older coworker went back to his wife and four kids in Spring 1999, when he apparently realized that the positives of one hour a day didn't make up for all the negatives of the remaining 23 hours of the day.
1998 and 1999 were disasterous years for JWMV due to the final breakdown of his marriage; everyone in SmallTown knowing about his cheating wife whom he had brought to town in 1994; and his divorce. JWMV even changed jobs to one which did not require his interaction with the public. Thereafter, JWMV began a series of periods in his life of being "inactive" and "active" in SmallTown's congregation.
At some point during that chaotic 1998-99 period, JWMV heard through the JW rumor mill that a third-generation JW "brother" whom had grew up in JWMV's congregation, but had moved to an adjacent county due to a job transfer back in 1988, had recently been disfellowshipped by that congregation, and that his wife and mother of his three children was divorcing him due to "adultery". At the time, JWMV had so much crap going on in his life that he didn't give that other JW male and his problems a second thought. After all, that former brother was 12 years older than JWMV, and their families had never socialized, or otherwise spent time together, when he grew up in SmallTown.
JWMV can't recall exactly when, but it was not until sometime in the early-2000s that JWMV eventually heard through the JW rumor mill that soon after FB's divorce, 34 year-old Former Brother had married a 17 year-old girl in order to escape from a statutory rape indictment sought by the girl's non-custodial parent. It wasn't until after that girl "studied" and was baptized, and after Former Brother was reinstated, that JWMV learned that she had been reared just outside VerySmallTown. No light came on at that point.
Around 2010, JWMV's dentist sent JWMV to an Oral Surgeon located in an adjacent county to have one of JWMV's wisdom teeth extracted. After completing the routine paperwork on arrival at the OS's office, the office manager told JWMV that he would not be able to be seen by the OS unless JWMV first paid in full the $850.00 charge for the extraction. JWMV agreed, but it soon dawned on JWMV to ask "why" he was being forced to pay first. The office manager explained that they already had a file in their office under JWMV's name, and that person had paid them with a bad check. Thankfully, the office manager asked JWMV if he had ever lived in the rural community of Xxxxxxx. JWMV told her "no", that he had always lived in SmallTown. No, no light came on in 2010. JWMV simply assumed that another person with the same name as he lived in that adjacent county.
Around 2012, JWMV began researching his genealogy, which eventually made necessary a visit to the public library in an adjacent county. There, one of the assistant librarians was extremely courteous and helpful until about an hour into the research, when smile-gone AL confronted JWMV claiming that he owed a large bill for multiple books that he had checked out back in 2005, and had never returned. JWMV had already told AL that this was his first visit to that library, and he firmly repeated such for her again. However, JWMV then asked AL if that "other JWMV" listed small rural post office Xxxxxxx as their address. Fortunately, AL not only confirmed Xxxxxxx as the post office, but even gave the specific road and box address to JWMV. The light finally had turned on.
After finishing at the library, JWMV drove the 45 minutes to the rural address which the librarian had given him. Do we really need to tell readers whose name was on the mailbox? After driving past Reinstated Brother's house, JWMV came up on a rural grocery about two miles down the road, where stopped JWMV in order to buy a soda. While paying for that soda, it occurred to JWMV to ask the clerk, "Can you tell me where JWMV lives?" Without hesitating, the clerk gave JWMV directions to Reinstated Brother's home.
When he returned to SmallTown, JWMV stopped at JWParent's home to tell them about both his genealogy findings as well as to tell them that Reinstated Brother*** was and had been using JWMV's personal identity dating back to the early-1990s. While JWParents seemed to be pleased with JWMV's genealogy discoveries, they didn't even want to hear this new explanation for the old "Beth" revelations. In fact, JWMV's "elder" father even gave JWMV new info that noone had ever told JWMV. Reinstated Brother had NOT been disfellowshipped for RB's premarital relationship with then 17 year-old second wife. No, RB's first wife had left him and had turned in RB to their BOE for fornicating with a different underaged girl than the one whom RB married in order to keep from going to prison. And, YES, that newly disclosed underaged girl also had been from the VerySmallTown area.
That wasn't everything that JWMV's father had been keeping a secret from JWMV all those years. Shortly after relocating to adjacent county, in the early 1990s, Reinstated Brother had started taking kids from his new Kingdom Hall to a roller rink located in "LargeCity", where RB asked those JW Kids to teach him how to rollerskate. JWMV's father had been given that piece of info years ago by an Elder then from RB's congregation after that Elder had been working in field service with RB when they stopped at a convenience store to get a soda. Some worldly guy who seemed to know RB came up to him in the parking lot, and while briefly talking with RB, that Elder overheard the worldly guy call RB by JWMV's first name, instead of by RB's own first name. Apparently, RB's new BOE had already began to wonder about their new congregant even prior to RB's wife turning him in for fornicating with teen girl#1.
***Readers should know that age 30s 3G JW FB/RB was a medium height and build male, while 12 years younger JWMV was a tall, large stature male. Teen JWMV suffered from delayed puberty, and didn't begin to mature physically until he was nearly 17 years-old. All this added together means that the older FB/RB and the much younger JWMV were about the same/similar height and build during the early to mid 1990s.
***Note To Psychiatrists/Psychologists readers:
This anonymous true story is subject to further editing/additions. JWMV claims that his JWDad is what JWMV labels as either a "socio-psychopath", or a "psycho-sociopath", while his JWMom is an always-smiling, low-IQ person who half the time doesn't understand what is actually going on around her. JWMV also believes that she is and has been somewhat mentally ill.
JWMV is still outraged that his JWDad Elder had known for years that FB/RB was using JWMV's identity, and had not disclosed such to his only son simply because JWDad had gained that info through JWDad's position as an Elder. That's not "maintaining confidentiality". That's hatred of your only child.
This editor is particularly interested in JWMV's revelation that as a reared-JW he suffered from delayed puberty. Over the decades, this Editor has quietly observed at the Kingdom Halls which he attended, teen male after teen male who appeared to be noticably physically immature for their age, as well as JW males ages 18-21 who are still "growing". JWMV relates that he was the tallest kid in his class from Grade 1 through Grade 4. Interestingly, it was not until JWMV was ten years old that his JWParents really began to push JWMV to study fulltime and internalize the WatchTower Cult's teachings, and due to his high IQ and thirst for knowledge, he jumped in with both feet. JWMV spent the entire summer between Grades 4 and 5 reading and studying every WatchTower publication which he could get his hands on. JWMV says that when he returned to school that Fall to start Grade 5, at least 25% of the males in his class were taller than him. The next summer was again spent devoted to the WatchTower Cult. When JWMV returned to school for the start of Grade 6, 90% of his male classmates were taller than he. It was not until the summer between his sophomore and junior years of high school that JWMV again began to grow. JWMV grew 9 inches his junior year of high school. Interestingly, that was the exact same period of time that JWMV first began to question the Cult's teachings, beliefs, and practices, and stopped reading/studying, slowed field service, slowed meeting attendance, etc. for that junior year. When JWMV restarted his life as a cult member his senior year, his growth slowed and stopped. Of course, JWMV arguably had nearly reached physical maturity by that time. Who knows. This Editor relates all this in hopes that some social scientist may be encouraged to research and explore this editor's suspicions that some JW children -- the ones who really internalize Cult life -- are so stressed out by such that their body reacts negatively, and some JW children even experience delayed puberty due to cult life.